Speaking Your Mind


honesty leads a long way finding justice search truth be honest

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”
― Noël Coward

How often have you felt that when in a difficult situation, instead of speaking your mind you may end up saying something that is what the other person may want to hear? Most of us have felt we would have preferred to have spoken truthfully so that we do not have to feel this way again. It may have been in a work situation, or perhaps letting go of a friendship that was no longer very supportive.

Learning to value our own opinions is something we often find very hard to accomplish and for many of us it may only happen later in life. How do we get to the point of desiring to do this?

For many of us it is finally realising that how we feel and what we need are just as important as the feelings and needs of others.

What holds us back from speaking honestly?
For many of us we actually think it will be the end of the world as we know it. But our world will not end from saying how we feel. Only by practising speaking up will we learn that this is not the case at all. By doing this we may experience some discomfort but we are for once stating what we genuinely think or feel.

Also, people who are true to themselves often state that they feel they are setting an example that will inspire others to step out and make changes. So what we may be giving to ourselves also becomes a gift to others.

We become better listeners
I have heard people say that when they become more honest and truthful, they seem to have more opportunity to listen to others. The way this seems to work is that they no longer focus so much on their own feelings, what they want to say and how others may perceive them. They can now pay closer attention to the ideas and feelings of others. By putting aside thoughts about ourselves, and listening to others, we find that others begin to truly listen to us!

“Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.”
The tendency if we are afraid of being honest and forthright, is to build up so much fear and resentment that we may blurt out our feelings, often offending others. It is a good idea to rehearse what we want to say in a direct way, with kindness and respect.

When you start making this change, know that at first you may stumble over your words, not get your point across, and that others may not like you speaking up. It is important not to apologise for your opinions with such comments as “This may be a stupid thing to say, but…” You will be surprised to find that often others will join you.

“You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.”
― Alan Moore
By Ron Tustin