Joke: Pros and cons of standing desks

Standing desks are becoming more popular in workplaces where employees would otherwise sit all day, but not everyone thinks a standing desk is right for them. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of using a standing desk.

PROS

  • Improves ability to talk about having a standing desk
  • Encourages more natural spinal curvature while staring at screen for eight continuous hours
  • Increases blood flow to your feet, where your best thinking is done
  • One step closer toward the ultimate dream of flying desks
  • Easy way to create illusion you actually give a sh*t about work

CONS

  • Could wind up forgetting how to sit entirely
  • Might be happier not knowing how difficult it has become for you to stand up for longer than 30 minutes
  • More visible target for office shooter
  • Eliminates satisfaction of leaning back in your chair with your hands behind your head after sending a killer email
  • You’ll still eventually die