Beat Defeat with Positive Self-Talk!

Welcome to part 2 of our ‘Inspiration’ series. In our previous article, we discovered inspiration is all around us, and it provides the brain with the oomph it needs to turn inspiration into action. But inspired action can quickly turn into defeat when we let negative self-talk have the upper hand. So let’s take a look at how we can send negative self-talk packing before it has an opportunity to pull us down!

They’re all looking at me!

When we start out – in anything – we quickly become self-conscious. We feel like everyone is looking at us, noticing our mistakes, the imperfections in our work, how slow we are. We feel all eyes are upon us, and before long, our first, joyous steps toward achieving our goals are quickly whipped away. But hear this: you are not the centre of attention! Research has shown just the opposite! We may think people are focusing on us more than anyone else, but unless you’re a super-model, or a famous actor, the truth is you’re just one of a crowd – and that’s freeing! It means you can struggle on, making all the mistakes, or being as slow as you need to, to work towards your goal. Why, you’re practically invisible as you go about your inspired action!

Quit the comparison!

Negative self-talk loves to focus on comparison because inviting you to feel somehow ‘less’ than someone else in a similar situation is a great trick to pull you down. Let’s go with your first knitting project, for example: You proudly head out on a walk with your granddaughter, for whom you’ve knitted a very basic hat (the first garment you’ve ever knitted!). All you see in the park is kids with the cutest hats imaginable. Some of them even have penguin motifs on them! Your granddaughter doesn’t notice, but you sure do. However, what you’re not seeing is 95% of the kids at the park have synthetic, store-bought hats, and your granddaughter is one of the 5% who are wearing a woollen hat lovingly hand-knitted for them! As an inspired action-taker, quit comparing by starting to consult the reality of the world around you. When you do, you’ll find you’re up there with the best of them – even when you’re only starting out!

Crush the critical!

Negative self-talk loves to criticise. It can do it at a moment’s notice, and keep going all day. Let’s join an inspired first-time walker (we’ll call him ‘Pete’) as he takes to the footpath, and find out just what he has to endure from his inner critic: Pete got out of bed 30 minutes earlier than usual to start his new exercise routine (so far so good) but he’s only at his mail box when he notices his neighbour Gurdeep, jogging briskly past. “You’re a loser, Pete,” says Pete’s negative inner-voice. “When you see Gurdeep, surely you know you haven’t got what it takes?” Pete struggles on to the first lamppost where he sees his corner dairy owner, Bruce, cycling past in his Lycra, and looking fit and trim. “Time to head home, Pete,” says Pete’s critical inner voice. “No way are you ever going to be fit enough to walk round the block, let alone be as toned as Bruce.” By now, Pete is feeling so worthless he’s failed to register the encouraging thumbs up from his other neighbour Geoff, who’s also on a morning walk. He thinks Leilani, waiting at the bus stop, is smirking at him, rather than giving a positive smile.

If you’re a Pete (and from time to time, most of us are), it’s time you crushed the critic. To do so, try smiling encouragingly at others who are engaging in the same inspired action you are. Give them a thumbs up. Admire their walking shoes, and ask them where they got them from. Smile encouragingly when someone who’s been training longer than you have, passes you on the uphill slope. When you act positively in the face of inner-criticism, you’re taking a positive step toward joining your inspired-action tribe. And trust us, they’re for you, not against you. Especially when you’re starting out!

Negative self-talk is crushing, but even when you hear that nasty inner-voice harping on, make the decision not to believe it!