Emotions are wonderful. They can take us on a journey, help us build relationships, express ourselves and communicate with people. There are thousands of feelings on the emotional spectrum, but mostly they come back to five – anger, fear, sadness, happiness and love.
To be balanced, we will all feel some of these emotions every day. Needing to feel and allowing ourselves to feel can be two different things. If you find yourself 'stuck' in one particular emotion, or unable to express an emotion, it may be time to examine why.
Emotions are powerful. As children, we are sometimes taught, either explicitly or subconsciously, that emotions are 'bad' – for example good girls don't shout, or boys don't cry.
These messages can be ingrained into your psyche and affect how you communicate as an adult.
If you have trouble sleeping or are prone to extreme emotions (be they happy or sad), pay attention to how that is impacting on your daily life.
Be Honest
A positive outlook is a great thing. Positive people are generally able to overcome obstacles and are fun to be around. However, there is such a thing as honesty and equilibrium. You don't have to be positive and happy all the time to maintain friendships and relationships – in fact it can be rather daunting to know someone who never has a problem.
It is fine to be sad sometimes, angry sometimes, scared sometimes, as well as being happy and loving. All these emotions should coexist in a person. You may have different friends to whom you can express your different emotions, or one close friend who hears it all.
Emotional Patterns
If you have any concerns about your moods, or if you are getting feedback from people that you care about regarding your emotions; pay attention. Keep a diary of your feelings, and what happened to make you feel this way. Look for patterns. It may be useful to discuss your feelings with your GP.
Your feelings are not the fault of someone else. If you find yourself explaining strong feelings away because of someone else's behavior; take a moment. Why are you feeling this way? Are they stirring up memories or insecurities? What is going on inside you?
Specific events (birth, death, shifting house) may cause you to feel more of one emotion for a time, but beware of getting stuck in an emotional rut.
It's Time to Talk
If you find yourself sleeping badly, with a marked change in appetite or with overwhelming feelings, talk to a professional. Sometimes it is as simple as needing to find someone who understands you for a time. A counsellor can help you do some 'emotional filing' and put things in perspective.
- 10 years ago