Senior Divorce Rates Are On the Rise

It’s been dubbed ‘Grey Divorce,’ and it’s a phenomenon many didn’t predict. If you haven’t caught up on the rise in numbers of over 50’s couples who are going their separate ways, it’s time to take a look around – perhaps even at your own marriage or long-term relationship! In our forthcoming series on ‘senior divorce,’ we’ll be checking out just why divorce among older couples is on the rise, how it impacts those who are considering separating, how to judge if your marriage is on the rocks, and what you can do to breathe new life into your long-term relationship. But first, let’s take a look at the stats:

Divorce, say the statistics, is no longer the domain of younger couples. In fact, divorce rates among those who are your adult children’s age is actually stabilising, and may possibly even be on the decline. The rate of divorce in over-50’s couples, however, recently increased by just over 7%. So what is going on to tip the scales? 

By way of explanation, seniors need only look at their own attitudes. If you’re in your 50’s or 60’s, it’s likely your parents (and grandparents) held pretty firm views about the permanence of marriage. As evidence, think back to your primary school classroom, and try to recall how many of your fellow students came from one-parent homes. We’re picking it was less than 1-2%. Yet, in the space of just a few decades, all but a handful of seniors have accepted divorce among those in the same age group as their adult children. In fact, seniors normalised it. No wonder, then, when seniors themselves have problematic relationships with their partner, they consider separating.

For all that, separating in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s is an entirely different kettle of fish to divorcing in later life – at the very time when many couples are considering a well-earned retirement together. So just what are the reasons for long-term partners pulling the plug on relationships that may well have already weathered tough times and a multitude of storms? Financial independence and expectations, say the experts, has a lot to do with it.

In the past, a relationship that was tolerable, yet not hugely fulfilling, may have ticked along ‘nicely’ (for want of a better word). However, this was before the ‘me’ movement (not to be confused with ‘Me Too’) alerted us to the need for ‘personal fulfilment.’ No longer were we necessarily to put others before ourselves. Personal growth, and an expectation that senior relationships should be fulfilling rather than ‘OK,’ took centre stage, and suddenly, ‘ticking along’ was no longer acceptable. Tied into this was the greater independence of women who had quickly became more firmly embedded in the workforce, and who in retirement years had their own means of support. No longer were they tied to a partner financially. The desire for personal fulfilment, a greater degree of financial independence, and the de-stigmatising of divorce, has meant women in an older age group are now free (perhaps more so than their adult children raising a family) to choose whether they stay or leave their marriages.

This decision has become even more important as life expectancy has increased. With seniors living longer, the potential to ‘see out’ a less-than-satisfactory marriage can stretch into 2, 3 or even 4 decades. For many, this is unpalatable, and with retirement years stretching ahead, the health to enjoy them, and online senior dating apps offering the prospects of a new and more fulfilling relationship, some seniors decide there’s still plenty of time to start afresh.

Making the decision to divorce, is one thing, but living the life of a single, or starting a new relationship in later life, is another. In our next article, we’ll be taking a look at the implications of leaving a long-term marriage when you’re in the 50+ age group. There’s certainly a lot to consider!