It’s no fun getting fired but it is wise for parents to expect that, one day, your kids are going to make you redundant. In fact, it is written into your contract as a parent that, if you do your job well, then your children will need you less and less as time goes on.
If your child no longer needs you to feed them or help them with homework or to drive them places, congratulations: your kids are growing up and that is exactly as it should be. But it is a challenge. It is actually nice to be needed. For many of us, being a Mum or a Dad defines us. It has been our role for many years and we cannot stand the idea that we are being pushed aside.
So prepare yourself, and prepare them, for a mature independence. Rather than changing your daughter’s flat tyre, show her how to do it herself. Rather than buying everything for them, put your kids on a budget and let them plan their own purchases. Rather than fixing and solving their every dilemma, put the problems back to them to offer solutions.
Their adult lives are going to be full of struggles and problems; if we don’t provide them with opportunities during their youth to learn how to cope with them then we are doing them a real disservice. Honestly, making things a little tougher for them now will make their later lives so much easier later on. And easier for you too. It might be nice having them cling to you now; but it really is no fun having dependant adult children who cannot fend for themselves.
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