Be Kind To Yourself

You own inner dialogue is probably the most common voice you hear. It is also incredibly influential. Us Kiwis tend to shy away from blowing our own trumpets too loudly, but there is a balance. If you are constantly undermining yourself, you will start to believe it.

Self talk and memories are powerful. To illustrate this point, take a moment to think about the happiest time you can recall in your life. You will notice how it’s a full body experience – you’ll probably smile, feel a rush of warmth or energy and have a real sense of wellbeing.

Conversely, if you think about a very dark time, your body will react accordingly, and you will feel heavy and burdened. Some of happiness is habit, so check below if your daily thoughts are limiting you, and see where you can make changes.

Do you:

• Celebrate successes in your life with a little internal high five
• or: reprimand yourself that there’s still more to accomplish or that you’re not as successful as you should be

Do you:

• See trying times as the result of a combination of factors (of which you could be one)
• or: automatically blame yourself for any bad thing that happens

When you think of yourself, are you able to:

• See areas of strength, promise and opportunity
• or: do you only see your flaws or shortcomings and feel incompetent

Are you able to:

• Learn from difficulties and come out of tough situations see yourself as more wise and resilient
• or: do you hold on to regrets and berate yourself for your past choices

Do you:

•  know inherently that you deserve unconditional love and respect from others, and accept compliments and praise with grace
• or: do you allow others to treat you poorly, or brush over and compliments, thinking they are insincere

Do you:

• approach life as if things will work out in the end
• or: spend a lot of time anticipating disaster

Changing the habits of a lifetime can be tough. If you see life as a glass half empty and a bit chipped, you won’t change that overnight. But seek to find the joy, the fun and the possibility around you. Your outlook and internal thoughts about yourself do matter, and will have an impact on your life.

Seek advice from those you trust – your GP is a great place to start if you feel a bit down on yourself.

Re-examine that glass. Maybe it is half full after all. Maybe it’s ‘retro’ rather than chipped.