Living Alone – Essential Skills

Would you be able to retain your independence if living alone?

It’s not an uncommon concern – and for good reason. In fact, thinking ahead to a time when you no longer have your partner to carry out the tasks they once did on behalf of you both, is simply being realistic. After all, their skills, whether they be in home maintenance, banking, cooking, managing health necessities, navigating digital communication, or simply changing the battery in the smoke alarm, are all jobs which keep everyday life on track and enable us to remain in our own homes. Although some of us prefer to bury our heads in the sand about it, or imagine someone else will take care of everything when, and if, the time comes, those who are more realistic, see the need to be prepared. If you’re in the latter category, let’s take a look at how we might put off panic, and tackle the tasks:

Get some sleep

If you spend what should be your sleeping hours worrying about how you’ll manage everyday needs should you lose your partner, try not to catastrophise. Not every problem you envisage will eventuate, those that do won’t all arrive at once, and when they do crop up, very few of them will be of the urgent ‘attend-to-immediately-or-else’ variety – something which buys you time. What’s more, you don’t need to take care of everything your partner now does, yourself. In fact, if you tried to, you’d soon be sinking rather than swimming. Instead, the most important thing you can do to ease anxiety is to address what would be your immediate needs. To do this – you need to list them.

Make a list

Help ease ‘living alone’ concerns by making a list of the absolute short-term essentials your partner now does for you both, and which, for the sake of your health and safety, you would immediately need to know how to take care of if they were no longer with you (it can pay to consult your partner about what these might be, from their perspective). This list, which should be kept to the bare minimum, will vary according to individuals, but might include the following: changing a light bulb, safely checking smoke alarm batteries, cooking a nutritious meal, using a mobile phone for essential calls, using online banking to pay essential bills, charging or refuelling the car, and arranging repeats on your prescription medication.

Practice makes perfect

Once you’ve made your list, work with your partner to learn how to carry out these essential tasks yourself. In fact, have fun teaching each other – and practice, practice, practice! Set yourself the goal of swapping one task at a time, for at least a month, and be patient with your partner as they adjust (the older we are, the longer it can take to learn a new skill). Once you’ve mastered a skill, return to it regularly so you don’t lose what you’ve learned. You might also like to extend your new-found skills by heading to some specific workshops catering to them. These may include those provided by SeniorNet and Senior Chef (look online or ask at Citizens Advice for similar courses in your own area).

Confidence not catastrophising!

The more you’re able to take care of daily tasks, the more you’ll grow in confidence, and be less likely to look on the possibility of life alone with anxiety. This can be hugely freeing, not only for you, but for your partner, who may worry as much as you do, about how you would manage without them.

In our next article on ‘Living Alone Skills,’ we’ll delve into short-term tasks your partner currently manages for you both, and how you might manage them if living alone.