Bullying

It’s great to see schools and authorities talking bullying more and more seriously. It’s very rare now for a school not to have a policy in place and so if you voice your concerns it will get some action – hopefully positive and thoughtful action. I couldn’t have said that few years ago when bullying was often just winked at, especially in boys’ schools. If you don’t get a good response from your child’s teacher, don’t feel embarrassed about going to the principal.

However, the sad fact is that bullying is still very common and most kids have to cope with it at some stage.
As well as what a school can do, there is a lot we can do as parents  – and the first thing is emotional support and comfort, because it really feels bad to be bullied.    .

A bit of browsing on the internet – including our own website www.theparentingplace.com – can give you all sorts of suggestions for helping your child deal with bullies: techniques, skills, and phrases they can use. Learning to be a good communicator, including managing their manage body language really helps. If they respond in a calm and assertive manner, the bully get’s rocked back on their heels. The bully is looking for reaction, especially some distress, and they can’t believe it when the victim acts calm and collected.  

Here’s a bit of advice for parents I heard years ago from Ian Lillico, an  Australian who  has  done a lot of research on boys. If your child has been bullied, provide them with an alternative social group where the bully isn’t present and  – very importantly – the witnesses to the bullying aren’t there as well. Kids sometimes label themselves as the victim and that attitude acts like a real bully magnet. In a totally different setting your boy or girl can have a different set of friends –they can relax, they can reinvent themselves and for a little while, they can practice living with their head held high.

It might mean driving across town to a youth group or scouts or a drama group or a sports team – a bit of a hassle but it’ll be wonderful for your child.

For more, check out The Parenting Place.com .