Peer Pressure At Any Age

You don’t need to be an anxious teenager to feel peer pressure. In our desire to be agreeable, we often end up in situations thinking, ‘how did this happen?’

It may be that you have been coerced into hosting a large family gathering that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, or go out to dinner and order and entrée, only to find you are splitting the bill and paying for someone else’s crayfish, or are buying raffle tickets that you don’t want, or are just spending time with people who make you feel anxious, or somehow incapable.

Saying no and setting boundaries can be a challenge, particularly when you are asked to justify yourself. However, as an individual, you are just as entitled to your opinion as everyone else. 

Here are a couple of phrases that may help next time you feel pressured – they are non-confrontational and really don’t invite justification.

“That’s not something I do.”

This is a brilliant and effective line if you are asked to buy something or participate somewhere you are not comfortable. “Do you want to come to my jewellery/underwear/book/kitchenware party, buy my child’s raffle tickets, go on a group sky diving trip?”

“Oh thank you, but that is not something I do.”

You don’t need to say why, and if someone is presumptuous enough to ask you to explain yourself, just repeat your statement. If it is not something you do, people should respect your choice. Keep in mind however, that consistency is important – you can’t really sell raffle tickets willy nilly, buy refuse to buy them..!

“That’s not going to work for me.”

This is a polite, but firm refusal for anything from a social occasion to a business opportunity. Instead of making up excuses or procrastinating, this statement gets you off the hook. Don’t feel you have to explain yourself, or make another time. Say it with a smile and the matter will be closed.