Shy Child

You can do a lot to help your shy child.

I was a shy child who deliberately learnt strategies to cope with my shyness, to the point where people refuse to believe that I am shy – but I still am. I just don’t let it cripple me in the way it used to. And I have interviewed many performers and media personalities who have said similar things – they are shy people who have learnt to function in a confident way. In fact, those same skills have helped them on television and radio to be great communicators. So encourage your shy child with that. They may always feel a little bit shy, but they can learn to handle themselves and come across as confident.
 
One way you as a parent can help is to nudge them into social situations. You don’t need to sign them up for X-Factor but you can get them to open the door to visitors and take their requests for tea or coffee. Get them to place their own order at the takeaway shop.  But do it gradually – yard by yard is very hard but inch by inch is a cinch – I hope that still means something to people raised with metrics.
 
Another good thing is to give your shy child the words they can use: Scripts they can recite to start a conversation or join in a game or make a request. And rehearse them – play act the scenario. I remember doing this with my daughter who was scared to ring a friend in case her friend’s father answered the phone and she wouldn’t know what to say. So we acted it out, and it helped a lot.
 
It’s not just children – about a half of all adults describe themselves as shy. I hope that learning some scripts and pushing back the boundaries of your comfort zone works for you as well.