Embrace Taxi Duty

The older your children become, the more time you may find yourself on taxi duty, shuttling them from extra curricular activities to parties and endless engagements. This can mean late nights, early mornings and more than your fair share of rush hour duty. Before this time becomes a hassle and source of irritation for all involved, turn it into a special occasion.

Children, no matter their age, crave routine and boundaries. Car time can be an extention of this. Turn off the radio, the phone and the any other extraneous distractions. Don't be too serious about it. Car chats could start off as 'car comedy' and evolve to 'car care' or 'car conversations'. 

Make car time an opportunity to ask questions freely, particularly if it is just the two of you. It can be a time with no restrictions on language or content so that you can really stay in communication.

Even if your tween or teen is reluctant, stay calm, stay open and always be receptive, but stick to the rules – if you want to create a technology or noise free space in the car, remain firm about that, even if it means there is no conversation and you travel in silence somtimes. Don't interrogate, just allow conversation to start and flow naturally.

It may help to start by sharing anecdotes. If you get an eye-roll response to 'when I was your age,' you may like to try discussing any issues or thoughts you may be currently having and see if that opens a dialogue. Kids possess an awful lot of innate wisdom – you may be surprised what their insights can teach you!

You could use the time to discuss family history, or shared interests. You may at times be somewhat disturbed or shocked by what comes up. Your paretns were probably the same with you. Try not to judge, or lecture. As your children grow, you won't always agree, but a clear and honest line of communication is crucial, if you are to keep a close bond. 

Teach them to value themselves, their bodies and those they love. Encourage them to make their own informed decisions, rather than blindly following the pack. Make sure they know that even though they are becoming big and independent, that you will always love them and worry about them and want to be available to talk and help out. 

Even a short trip can facilitate a useful chat. Don't be afraid to stay parked on the driveway or garage if you haven't finished – great communication is worth the investment of time!