Yay! It’s Christmas!

Woohoo, the cold, lonely days of winter are behind us. Nobody wants to hibernate and snuggle inside watching TV anymore – we want to go out! Parties, barbecues, drinks and tea parties here we come!

We're dusting off the party clothes, shopping for new ones, thinking about places to go and people to see and what fun we are going to have.

And if we are not doing that, we tend to think we should be.

I remember hearing someone say many years ago that we'd all be better off if the word "should" was completely removed from the English language.

The truth is that for some of us Christmas and the holidays could be a bit lonely this year and if that's the case, says counsellor Hilary Smith from Relationships Aotearoa, you need to have a concrete plan to change that.

If you'd like to socialise more and develop new friendships, how do you go about it? Online communities can help. Check out one of the GrownUps discussion groups. Some GrownUps members meet regularly at local cafes and friendships (and even the odd marriage) have resulted. If there's not one near you, why not initiate meeting a group of like-minded others at a local café and start one?

One of the huge bonuses of the internet is that interest groups and clubs have become a lot more accessible. If you like embroidery or Scottish Terriers or playing bridge, there will be a club that you can find out quite a lot about online. There are all kinds of associations and clubs out there and going along for the first time can often be free.

A Chicago scientist, John Cacioppo who has done a lot of research into the causes, effects and treatments for loneliness has suggested we treat loneliness like a physical pain similar to hunger and thirst. It's your psyche telling you something needs to change. Telling yourself it is not important is not going to help you, it's counter-productive. You and your happiness are important so if you are feeling lonely, take it seriously and do something about it.

Sometimes just getting out of the house and going somewhere can help. Go to an art gallery, a café, a quiz night and/or check out the local walking or swimming or golf club. There are lots of free concerts to enjoy at this time of year so have a look at your local 'What's on' guide in the local papers and ring a friend and invite them to go along.

Organise a picnic with family or friends or a beach outing and a cheap dinner out to follow (fish and chips!) Book a concert or the theatre or a day trip somewhere nice.

It's amazing what a lovely difference just making a single little change to your normal routine can make.

If you are interested in exploring some of the ideas touched upon in this article, check out the below:

How lonely are you? Take this quiz based on research from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA).

Some common sense tips on dealing with loneliness.

Read more of what the very interesting Chicago scientist, John Cacioppo has to say on loneliness.