This Is Going To Be Unpopular

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When I was a young and uncouth radio talkback host I used to get a certain amount of pleasure from winding people up. But, as John Banks has learned and Paul Henry has yet to learn, all that you do is cause the majority of people to think you are a jerk.

I say the following, not to aggravate, but because it is something I am a firm believer in — I support the so-called anti-smacking legislation.

As a kid I got smacked by both my mother and father and I got strapped and caned at school. But I hated it. I find it difficult to explain the depth of feeling I had about corporal punishment.

I remember a Sunday evening and my younger brother was being smacked by my father. I was eight years of age and I have no idea what my brother had done to warrant the punishment, but I was so traumatised I screamed “Stop it! Stop it!” And my father did. I was expecting to get a smack for being so brazen, but I think both of my parents were so surprised by my outburst that they didn’t know what to do.

My parents weren’t brutes — smacking was a part of bringing up kids. I knew other kids of my age who were smacked harder and more regularly than I ever was. I never feared my parents.

The punishment that was meted out by my parents was always done in the privacy of our home and, even as a kid, I hated those parents who whacked kids in public. Hate is not too strong a word for how I felt about that.

At school, I despised teachers who administered he strap or cane — particularly those who added humiliation to the pain by whacking the kid in front of the class. I couldn’t look.

But I too, am guilty of smacking my own children. I feel a sense of guilt and shame at writing that. I too was a product of my era.

I was pleased when the government adopted Sue Bradford’s private member’s bill to restrict the amount of force that parents can use against their children.

I confess I was bewildered by the level of anger that followed the passing of this legislation into law. It’s not as though New Zealand is alone — we are one of 26 countries that have banned the smacking of children. That’s so far — several other countries are expected to join us in the next few months. Most people I speak to think that we are alone in the world in this regard.

But that doesn’t matter — the recent poll showed an overwhelming majority of New Zealanders want Sue Bradford’s legislation repealed and make it legal for parents to again smack their children — so long as it doesn’t break the skin or leave a bruise.

I cringe at the thought of a nation that wants to have the right to smack/beat children.

One of the great clichés about living in New Zealand is that we think we live “in a great country to bring up kids”.

Sadly, we are fooling ourselves.

The recent OECD survey of how we look after our young is appalling. No other word for it. Appalling. Maybe sickening.

We beat and kill our children more than most other countries, we spend less on them than most other countries and our youth suicide rate is the worst in the western world.

And now we want to have the right back again to smack our kids.

Those who want to have the right to smack children say the Bradford legislation hasn’t done anything to stop the child beatings and the child murders. That is fatuous.

It is inescapable that there is something drastically wrong with New Zealand society. We are violent and the fact that so many of us want to have the right to smack our children shows how deeply ingrained and how far down into our society this violence reaches.

Our two most talk-about and followed sports are among the most brutal and violent sports in the world. When we lose, the nation goes into mourning and bemoans our lack of mongrel.  

Sue Bradford has received death threats because of her legislation. That doesn’t surprise me. I would have been more surprised if she hadn’t.

You have to start somewhere and I thought that not letting adults smack children was about as good a place to start as any.

It’s a very clear line in the sand.

I know that there will be many, many people who won’t agree with a single word I have written and would be down on me like the proverbial ton of bricks, given the chance.  Well, here is the chance — email me with your view. editor@nztoday.co.nz .