We’ve been led to believe that sexual fulfillment becomes more difficult to achieve once you pass the ripe “old” age of 50. Celebrity fitness guru Jack Lalanne and his wife once stated in an interview that they were still sexually active, even in their 90’s. Although this may not seem normal, remaining sexually fulfilled and active throughout your whole life, can still be achieved.
A few years ago I had an 86-year-old client who came to me with an erectile dysfunction problem. He had only had the problem for two years – and his 82-year-old wife had only just stopped actively participating in sex, nine months prior to that. She was oblivious to the fact that, that was not “normal” until one day when out at her monthly lunch with friends, they all mentioned they had stopped participating in sex, 30 years prior. She switched off sex a few months later. Funny what the mind can achieve, once a seed is planted.
In the meantime, George (not his real name) was quite devastated with this sudden lack of sexual interest from his wife. Although he and his wife had been happily married for over 50 years, he described himself as being a player when they met and even at the grand age of 86, he still had a huge sexual appetite. But without his wife’s participation, he suppressed his constant sexual thoughts and feelings, both of which led to the decline of his “manhood” with the resulting erectile dysfunction.
In an unexpected act of valor, George’s wife suggested that if he got his ED problem sorted, she was quite happy for him to find a casual sexual partner, so long as certain boundaries were adhered to. A thoughtful woman, she knew the cost to her husband of not having a fulfilling sex life (regardless of age, men need sex, like fish need water.)
She was actually really happy that she could finally stop feeling guilty about no longer wanting to fulfill that role. This strategy has worked well for both of them.
Too many women believe that once they hit menopause, it’s all over. Technically, that doesn’t need to be true. Once you get over the initial mental, physical and emotional hiccup as your hormones adjust, there comes the euphoria that equates with: no more annoying monthly bleeds and no need for contraception! Some women look forward to menopause and view its arrival as an exciting and fulfilling time of their life.
It is your mind, more than anything which turns your body off sex.
Because if a woman has a partner who has an affliction of a sexual nature, such as early ejaculation or losing erection hardness (or if his technique is more centered on his own needs) then she is more inclined to look forward to menopause for an entirely different reason. If sex is not fulfilling for her then she doesn’t just want men-o-pause, she wants her man to stop wanting sex completely. This can cause a great deal of tension in the relationship, as it’s just not normal for a man to stop wanting sex.
The longer he goes without treating his problem, the earlier his partner will lose interest in sex. I’ve had clients in their 70’s who were able to rekindle their partner’s interest after a lifetime of poor sexual performance, by solving their problem and improving their overall sexual technique.
A significant part of a man’s sexual problem is due to the lack of connection he is able to provide his woman during sex. For women, sex is as much about the emotional connection as it is a physical act of intimacy.
By Jacqui Olliver
Jacqui Olliver is the Sex Technique Modifier at End the Problem
Read more from Jacqui here.
Jacqui - 10 years ago
Hi Katleen, it’s unlikely that the supplement is making the erectile dysfunction problem worse. The most important factor in overcoming sexual problems, is understanding how your thoughts influence the arousal cycle. If a man is constantly worrying about his erection status during sexual activity, he will be unable to maintain his erection.