You never know in life when you will need a bit of a helping hand. For many people, asking for, or accepting help is a real challenge. We all like to think we can cope, so it can seem like those who offer help are doubting our abilities. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
In the midst of a hard time, you may not be able to see clearly what you need, so it is a great idea to rely on people who love you to recognise the signs that you are struggling, and act accordingly.
It can be a fine line to tread; offering help. Those who are doing the offering can often be met with confrontation. Furthermore, those who like to be the ones to offer help, often find it incredibly hard to accept help themselves.
Love is expressed in many ways by many people. Offering assistance is an act of love, so try and accept it as such.
This love may come as:
- offers of transport
- food being delivered
- assistance with regular household tasks
- financial help
- company and a listening ear
- accommodation
- perks like tickets to shows
- help with children
- introductions to professionals or other social networks.
If you have ever accepted help, there is often a compulsion to repay the favour. Here’s where paying it forward comes in. It can seem churlish to try and repay someone for their kindness. The best thing to do is, when you have the energy and opportunity; help someone else in need.
It feels great, knowing you are making a positive contribution, and it is a far better use of your time and resources. You will also gain an understanding of how those who helped you felt, and you may find yourself appreciating them even more.
The only potential pitfall is if you fall into the trap of helping someone at the expense of your own health, resources or happiness. Only give what you can do so freely, with love, and without compromising yourself.
If we all allowed help into our lives, and then paid it forward with joy, imagine the world we’d create…
Carolyn - 6 years ago
Great article and a great reminder of how we should be interacting with our fellow humans. I was reminded yesterday of this while visiting a private home while doing my volunteer duty with a local community group of elderly folks. I had to move my car in what was going to be a tricky couple of moves, when the `man of the house’ asked if I minded if he did the moving, as he knew it could be difficult. My first thought was that he obviously didn’t think I was capable of doing it. I then stopped and reminded myself that he was offering his help and for what ever reason it would be best to let him assist. In the end I was quite pleased that he’d moved the car (although I had no doubts that I could have done it) and he was pleased to have helped. So, nobody died and our prides remained intact! I do, however, agree that we should only offer help that we are in a position to give.