Once Were Worriers

Some people are habitual worriers – once they have finished worrying about the people they love, they start on the world. Or, if faced with no concrete worries, will worry that they have overlooked something or are being deliberately excluded! Not only is worrying an enormous waste of energy (what does it achieve really?), it is also a thief – of happiness, sleep and reality.

It presents as sleeplessness, headaches, physical pain and can progress into depression and anxiety. However, it can also be a bad habit. Try some of the ideas below to turn your personal mountains back into molehills.

Let’s do the time warp

Not the dance (although dancing is a wonderful way to reduce tension)! Most things we worry about never come to pass, or we find a logical way through. Next time a worry pops into your mind, go back through your mental files and recall something that was bothering you a year ago. Is it still as all-consuming? Did you find a way to deal with it? Upon reflection, how important does this event actually seem today?

Now, of course, professional worriers can always argue that “this time is different.” It probably isn’t. Our worries are rarely the big deal that our minds make them out to be, or we would be spending time solving them, not simply allowing them to occupy space in our heads.

Accept the heads up

Your body and mind use stress to alert you to something that is out of balance in your life. When you feel stress building, accept the warning (or heads up – warning can sound a bit dire!) and take stock of what areas you may be neglecting. If you are worrying about a health issue, use the time instead to get a checkup, or change the habits that deep down you know are not good for you.

Stress doesn’t just arise from negative circumstances. We can also feel stressed in large, positive events or times of change, such as weddings, promotions or exciting travel (and consequently worry about being ungrateful or unworthy). A healthy amount of stress sharpens our concentration spurs us into taking action.

See both sides

Worrying is a primitive self-defense mechanism. It causes us to take stock and think about the possible outcomes of our actions, and avoid potential danger. However, we live in a relatively safe modern environment, so impending doom is mostly in our imagination.

When you find yourself caught up in a mental tale of woe, take a piece of paper and write it down. On one side of the paper, write down the very worst outcome that could possibly arise (eg you lose your job, get divorced, etc). On the other side, write down the very best imaginable consequences, no matter how ridiculous!

Now take a good look – the reality is probably hiding somewhere in the middle. Take it another step further by planning some proactive steps you can take right now to create that middle-ground.

Be aware

What is happening this very minute? Ae you in mortal danger? Are you without support? Or are you living in a world that is yet to exist – tomorrow, next week or next year? Take a look. If you are safe and sound in the present moment, then you have time to make changes. Spend your energy on solutions rather than worry.

Talk your way out of it

We can change our thoughts and perspective in an instant. When you feel your train of thought spiralling down a negative road, mentally and firmly say ‘STOP’ to yourself. Break the cycle immediately with a distraction – listen to your favourite song, google your dream holiday or go for a walk – anything that resets your brain in a new direction.

Just breathe

When we feel stressed, we tend to breathe shallowly or gulp in air and not exhale fully. This exacerbates stress. Therefore, practice long, slow and deep breathing (breathe in for a count of five and our for a count of seven). When you are breathing calmly, it is much harder to feel stressed.

There’s nothing wrong with a good daydream. Nor is there anything wrong with a good outcome – be as open to the thought of great things happening as you are to worrying – it is amazing what happens with a fresh perspective!