One day you will wake up and realise that the black heavy feeling in your solar plexus is not there. It may be gone for good or just a little while. When and if it comes back, remember what it was like when you woke up without it. Little by little you will have more and more days when waking up will feel ok. You will be calmer, you will feel like doing a few things that you haven’t done for ages and the more of these you undertake the more back to “nearly normal” you will become.
Getting into a small routine again is a simple plan. Make sure that you include some things you really used to enjoy that have been overlooked or deliberately not done because it reminds you of your loss.
Deep breathing is a great way to “breathe your way” through any feelings of depression that start creeping in. Make sure you sit in a comfortable chair, take the first few deep breaths and when you think your lungs are full… push it and do one more breath in … then exhale. When you feel you have emptied your lungs, push it out just a little further, then relax and slowly breathe in. I like to advise sitting for this if you haven’t practiced this before as it can make you feel a little light-headed until you get used to it.
This is good time to start awakening your five senses. Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight and Hearing. They are very rarely used all at the same time. See if you can do an exercise where you use the whole five at once. Example: Put on some soothing music, light some incense or spray some perfume, look at something dear to you or study the whole construction of a flower or similar, put some chocolate or mint or lemon in your mouth, touch something rough at the same time like sandpaper or fondle shells or fabric. Take deep breaths.
It doesn’t sound hard but it is more difficult than you might think. 5 senses all at once. If you do this you will awaken feelings and sensations you have buried. You can experience amazing mood lifts just by doing this.
Avoid listening to melancholy music or old songs that make you feel sad when they remind you of your loss. Sit down and write out a list of things you would like to do within the next month. Don’t look too far ahead. Cross off at least one important thing a week and one small thing every day.
Don’t forget walking is great therapy and dancing even better. Just a little movement to music will do wonders for you. Water is a soothing therapy and there are probably heated pools near you somewhere where you can relax or do some laps to invigorate your senses. Sea water is therapeutic. If it’s not too freezing start swimming in the sea. Failing that walk along the water’s edge at the beach or by a river.
Little by little things will be easier. The main thing is to try to feel optimistic and believe that the heavy feelings or darkness do lift. Venture to pick up the phone and invite a friend to walk with you or meet for a coffee. They have probably been missing you! Take care, and write to me if you want to.
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