By Denise Corlett.
Find more articles by Denise here.
Internet or online dating is very different to meeting someone through a social context. You have a one dimensional profile in front of you which highlights an image, a screen name and the beginnings of a profile or tagline. In a split second, you then choose to investigate some more or scroll to the next person. There are no additional cues to form a further first impression such as a tone of voice, the way someone moves and so on. So it stands to reason that you want to make the best possible impression with your photo, screen name and initial part of your profile so others can then feel like they want to find out more about you. Here are some things to consider.
Image
You must have a photo for online or internet dating. People can come to the conclusion that your appearance is not great if you have nothing here and will tend to move on to the next person. Or they just can’t be bothered investigating further and will move on. In addition, statistics indicate that those that do have a photo have more hits. So you need to put the most recent, attractive photos of you there. Ideally you want a flattering angle. If you are taking the photo of yourself, beware of shots that are too close or too far away. Too close and they can have the tendency to distort the shape of your face. Too far away and it is really hard to tell what you look like.
Ensure there is good lighting – not too bright or too dark as this will make it hard for others to see you. Wearing hats or sunglasses may well be something you do regularly. However, many people find it off putting and if you want to attract a wider range of people to you, then it’s best to take these off for the photo. Likewise, pets and other people in the photo can be distracting and people scanning your photo could well form an incorrect opinion of you based on others in the photo. Also, people can be put off by a photo with someone cropped out of it. Having an extra arm, cheek or otherwise in the photo will make people come to all sorts of conclusions (rightly or wrongly) and move on.
Ideally, a head and shoulders photo with a smiling friendly face is going to attract the widest appeal. Give some thought to the type of person you would ideally want to be with and how that person would present. Try and match your image with that and you are more likely to attract someone who is like this as well. The same goes for how much flesh to reveal. Remember, that although you might have a great body, if you bare too much you will attract those who are particularly interested in this. Whereas others will be put off by it. Keep yourself safe!
Screen Name
What you call yourself for anonymity’s sake is important too. Take some time to think about this and consider what kind of person you want to attract, what name would put others off and whether you want your name to be descriptive of you in some way. Although less importance can be placed on this in general, a screen name that is too explicit, too weird or too rude will not help people to be drawn to you or perhaps attract attention that you don’t particularly want. So take care.
Profile
This is the part that contains lots of information about you in a number of areas such as interests, thoughts, etc. Often the first part of your first sentence will be highlighted here on some websites so you need to get your best information about yourself in here. In general, you want to keep your profile upbeat and positive. Avoid any needy lines or negative comments about what has happened in the past. Keep it honest. At the end of the day, if you proceed to meeting with someone, and if a relationship occurs in the future then whatever you weren’t truthful about will become apparent. Besides any good relationship is based on trust!
Try to be specific about what you are writing. Give people a picture of what you are talking about. Inject your personality into what you are writing so people get a sense of you. Lastly, complete a spell check and check your grammar. Like it or not people can be put off by this, and taking a couple of minutes to check this can make you come across well.
Test
It might sound funny, but put your profile up and see what responses you are having. If there is not the response you had expected, then make some changes and test the response. If you are having problems working out what you need to change, then get some help to determine what needs changing and make the changes.
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If you’d like to download my free e-Book “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:
http://www.datingadvice.co.nz/GetPartneredeBooks.htm
Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz
You are welcome to reprint this article in its entirety, electronically, or in print free of charge, as long as you include my full signature file for ezines, and my website address in hyperlink, for other sites, and inform me that you have done so.
Copyright (C) 2010.
majorminor - 13 years ago
As one who has done the deed – met my wife thru FindSomeone and we have been married 8 years now – i can add to Denise’s comments above.
Don’t expect instant success, i guess i had met up with 14 – 16 ladies before meeting up with my wife.
But that experience was important because it helped me to refine later searches and what to avoid in an advertisement.
After many, many ads and searches i realised that what was behind some comments;
i came to equate ‘Needs to know how to treat a Lady’ with needs to have a big wallet and shallow pockets.
I came to avoid those that wanted me into their life rather than starting a new life together.
I was always happy to have a face to face at a coffee shop because it helped to quickly see if there was potential for further contact.
Always choose public place and remember you can be traced by your number plate, so make sure you have a big shop to disappear into before returning to your car and driving off. Or if not, then get a friend to drop you off for the meeting.
But numbers are the ideal, the more you meet the more you get a better picture of what you don’t want.