Ron Tustin – When is the Right Time to Set Our Goals?

We all do it from time to time. We have a bad day and we think that this is the best time to set a goal and will be motivated to change. There is another way when we find ourselves in a stressful situation and want to do something about it...

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Meet Mary

Mary looks in the mirror and does not like what she sees. "I am so fat," she says. She feels angry and hopeless. Right at that moment she decides that she has to do something about it. She decides in desperation that she must lose 20 kgs as quickly as possible and with tears in her eyes she searches the internet for a new way to reach an old goal.

Meet Tom

Tom goes to the ATM to withdraw money for lunch and discovers that he only has $119.34. He has 10 days before any more money is deposited and suddenly realizes that two days ago he wrote a cheque to the power company and another to his daughter's school that will overdraw the account. In that moment he decides that he can’t continue to live like this and vows that he will become financially independent.

What Mary and Tom have in common is that they are both setting potentially life changing goals while in an emotional state of need.

We all do it from time to time. We have a bad day at work and still frustrated driving home decide we really need to be self-employed so start looking for business opportunities. A friend says something that we don't like and decide we need new friends so set a goal of getting out more and expanding our social circle.

We think that this is the best time to set a goal and will be motivated to change.

Unfortunately "need" is a subjective state-of-mind that when satisfied most often temporarily improves the conditions in a person's life, but not necessarily the person.

The real change happens when we realize that this state is not about what we attain or obtain, but it's more about who we become in the process.

The risk of making big decisions when we are in this vulnerable state, is we want a quick fix, for example, with diet programmes and "get-rich-schemes" there are many multi-million dollar industries built solely on the desires of us when we want immediate results.

Also if set goals based on this need they are often based on something we are resisting in our life.

There is another way when we find ourselves in a stressful situation and want to do something about it…

Accept the situation for what it is

It is simply where we are as a result of what we have been doing in the past. Let’s not dwell on regrets or judge it as good or bad. When we stop resisting we become present and become focused on the direction we want to go in.

Our lives are bigger than what has just happened. We can be grateful for what we have in our entire lives.

Think about other people too. Goals that focus on the needs of others have the power to attract people, organizations, and resources to get them done.

Look for the core problem or opportunity.

Here are some good questions we can ask ourselves:

  • "Is this a recurring problem?"
  • "Where is this coming from?"

And finally, some daily action goals to address the immediate need.

  • What steps do I need to take today to begin my transformation?
  • Who can I call?
  • What can I learn to help me improve in this area?
  • What routine or habit do I need to develop to reach and maintain my goal?

Ultimately it's who we become not what we get or the goals we reach that will have the most lasting impression on our lives.

"If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing." ― Coco Chanel

Please tell me what you think or if you would like more information on this topic please contact me here.

Ron Tustin
Revive and Thrive Coaching, Professional Coach, member of International Coach Federation.

Read Ron's Blog 
www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com 
info@rtc.org.nz 
Ph 0800 003679

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.