Finding Fairness when Splitting the Bill

Dining out with friends or extended family should be a happy occasion, with memories to sustain you until next time you get together. Unfortunately, depending on the makeup of the group, and how the bill is settled, the end of the evening can see some diners feeling embarrassed, worried, and even downright furious. We’re talking about ‘the split’, the common practise of dividing up the cost of a meal evenly between guests. It sounds so easy and egalitarian, but quite the opposite can be the case.

If you’re on a basic income (such as super), or if you’re saving for something other than dining out, sharing a dinner bill evenly can be blatantly unfair. And even if you do have the wherewithal to be carefree about it, do you really want to subsidise your fellow diners’ drinking habits when you’re a teetotaller, or a very light, drinker? If your appetite is never ambitious, why should you share the cost of everyone else’s 3 course meal when all you’ve ordered is an entrée or soup?

These are issues that some diners never have to think about, but for the many who do, check out the following suggestions for finding fairness at the dinner table.

It’s OK to say

If you regularly socialise with the same group, let everyone know, as a general rule, when it comes to eating out (dinner, cafe food – whatever) you will be paying for your own order. (You may need to repeat this from time to time but it’s more discreet if you don’t do so every time you go out.) Don’t be afraid to say why this is your choice, but at the same time, don’t feel you have to. Rest assured, your courage will allow others, who are more hesitant, to speak up.

If you’re in a one-off situation, take the initiative, and announce at the start of the meal you will be paying for your own meal (you can make a joke out if it by saying you’re sure to eat more than anyone else!). You may also like to announce you want to shout a bottle of wine (that way you get to choose it – and the price!).

Early bird

Towards the end of the meal, get up from the table (as if you are going to the restroom), but head to the cashier. Discreetly pay for your own food and drink. When the time comes to ‘split the bill’, announce you’ve already settled yours.

Carry cash

Cash is seldom used nowadays, but by carrying notes of different denominations, plus a few gold coins, can make paying a dining bill so much easier. To make use of your cash, keep a tally of your personal bill in your head (if you need to refer to the menu, and it has vanished from the table, check it out on your way back from a restroom visit). Towards the end of the evening, draw the cash from your wallet or purse, and quietly put it on the table beside your plate. Others will notice, and take it as a cue you wish to settle only your own portion of the account. If they don’t, pass the cash to whoever in the group is suggesting you ‘split’ the bill, and say: “This is for my meal – I’ve included a share of the wine.” Alternatively, when the waiter comes with the account, simply pass them your cash, explaining what it’s for. Note: if small change is involved, always round it up to the nearest dollar.

Early exit

If you feel it may be impossible for you to extricate yourself from the ‘split the bill’ routine without feeling embarrassed, time your departure from the venue to be a little before others, and announce you’ll settle your portion of the account on your way out.

Be generous

Make room for generosity by being the person who suggests a special guest (such as ‘the birthday boy’), or ‘the uni-student niece’, doesn’t pay for their own meal. In which case, check ahead with others that they’re happy to split the cost.

Being honest is not the same as being mean, so don’t be afraid to do what feels right for you!