Rural New Zealand terminology

442a691e65cec86f0919A little bit of Kiwi culcha!

  • LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbeque hotter
  • LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbeque.
  • MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbeque.
  • DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute.
  • HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold beer….
  • KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys.
  • WINDOW: What you shut when the weather’s cold.
  • SCREEN: What you shut in the mosquito season.
  • BYTE: What mosquitos do…
  • MEGABYTE: What South Island mosquitos do.
  • CHIP: A pub snack.
  • MICROCHIP: What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.
  • MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
  • LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps….
  • SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get on an airplane.
  • HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks – from K-Mart…
  • MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
  • MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
  • WEB: What spiders make.
  • WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
  • SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won’t go.
  • CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won’t go.
  • YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go.
  • UPGRADE: A steep hill.
  • SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
  • MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch.
  • USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
  • NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
  • INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
  • NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
  • ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
  • OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.