Times have changed. We are connected, contactable and constantly checking our devices. However, etiquette still exists, and you have every right to insist upon good device manners as well as good personal manners. In fact, they are one in the same.
It is entirely reasonable to set device rules in your home and stick to them. While your family and friends may need to encouragement to start with, you will maintain better relationships if devices don’t get in the way. Spell out your rules to guests and family and make one rule for everyone – if you need phones off at the table; that means everyone, not just the teenagers!
At the table
When you are enjoying a meal as a group (or even a couple), insist that devices (phones, tablets, music players) are left away from the table and on silent. Unless you have a surgeon at the table waiting for an organ transplant notification, most people should be able to spare the time to eat a meal without checking their email/facebook etc.
Electronic devices may make excellent child-tamers at cafes, restaurants and other tables, but children should also be taught table manners and patience and do not have to be entertained every minute of every day. If your child or grandchild throws a tantrum when the ipad/ipod/tablet/cellphone is removed for a few minutes; that is not acceptable. They should be able to be part of a family dinner table.
At a social gathering
It is a given that nearly everyone has a phone with them. If you are waiting for an important call, be courteous enough to explain to your host or hostess that that is the case, and be discreet. Excuse yourself and leave the room if you must take a call, and come back into the room calm and polite, regardless of the content of the call.
If you have a guest who you feel is being rude, it is fine to ask them if they are in the middle of something important, or whether they could leave their phone elsewhere for the duration of the event.
In a meeting
If you have made an appointment to see someone, turn your phone off and ask that they do the same. If you are worried about being in contact, excuse yourself after an hour or so and check your messages discreetly. Meetings can be completed far more efficiently if all the participants focus on the task at hand.
People are important
If you are having a conversation with someone, make them the priority. Listen. Resolve the issue, if you are discussing one. Finish making the plans. Enjoy the visit. Appreciate the person you are with. Once you are finished, reconnect with cyberspace. It isn’t going anywhere!
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