Home Sweet Home – Could Multi-Generational Living Suit You?

Welcome back to Home Sweet Home, where we check out living options for Kiwi seniors. Last month, we considered tiny house living. This month, we tackle multi-generational living options – the pros, the cons, and realities involved in making it happen. But first, what exactly is multi-generational living?

Multi-generational living is a housing situation generally defined as comprising three or more generations of family living under the one roof or, at least, on the same area of shared land. It doesn’t necessarily mean grandparent, adult children and grandchildren. It could be any branch of a family residing in close proximity, and can (and often does) include family members from both sides of a marriage or partnership. While it’s tempting to say multi-generational living is more traditional among some ethnic groups than others, we have only to step back a couple of generations to find this style of housing has been common in New Zealand among almost every ethnic group.

Thanks to our Census records, we know in 2023, almost 130,000 families were living in a multi-generational context, an increase of 27.2% from records taken in 2013. Of those almost 130,000 families, more than half comprised three or more generations. If trends continue, we will be seeing more and more retirees living with family in the years to come. The reasons for this are many and varied.

In New Zealand, the rising cost, and shortage, of rental and home ownership accommodation, has resulted in potential homelessness even for those where one or both partners in a relationship have full time work or superannuation. In the retirement sector, the growing costs of utilities, rates, and home maintenance is forcing many seniors to question whether they can afford to stay in their family home, or even to downsize to a smaller accommodation. There are many seniors who don’t yet qualify for a place in care, yet who are finding it increasingly difficult to live in their own homes, and take care of themselves. A bridging retirement village situation is not a reality for many.

When all these financial factors come together, multi-generational living begins to look attractive for all age groups. However, for many, the social advantages are even more important. When three or more generations are living in close proximity, childcare can be more easily managed, personal security is stronger, responsibilities are shared, loneliness decreases, and family relationships can be enhanced. Not that multi-generational living is a piece of cake, as those who have embarked on it will tell you. Fortunately, though, those who choose to go down the track of multi-generational living can learn from the experience of others who have been there, done that – and this is what they are telling us:

Don’t enter a multi-generational living situation simply for the sake of convenience – if strong family bonds don’t already exist, living together is unlikely to foster this.

Before you sign up to this style of living, engage a legal professional to help iron out the nuts and bolts. They will steer all parties through the financial implications of shared housing and/or property so entry to and exit from any arrangement is amicable and fair. Because, however well-meaning and close a family is, no one can predict the future, and relationships, health, and financial situations can, and do, change.

Formalise living arrangements from the beginning because they are unlikely to occur naturally in such a way as to be comfortable for everyone involved. From designating household responsibilities to respecting boundaries, plan for it, don’t leave it to chance.

Make plans, ahead of time, to provide opportunities to share concerns and manage conflicting opinions (Some multigenerational families make a special weekly meeting time to do just this). Also be clear about caregiving expectations — whether for children or older family members — to avoid unspoken assumptions or burnout.

When designing or adapting a home to cater for several generations, consult professionals. There are already several building companies in New Zealand who have experience in such matters – there’s no need to reinvent the wheel.

Check out new government plans for making it easier to build small stand-alone dwellings.

Multi-generational living is a working model making steady inroads into the field of alternative housing. For many families, it answers the needs of all generations involved. Approach it with the same seriousness you would buying your own home – but remember your relationships with your immediate ‘neighbours’ will count more than ever!