Accentuate the positive

Remember being told, “if you don’t have something nice to say, then say nothing at all?” Well, how about changing that up a little; how about making a conscious effort to find nice (and sincere) things to say today and every day? That’s a positive contribution you can make which uplifts and makes others feel loved and appreciated.

Look around you. For all the people being rude or difficult, there is also a huge number who are going about their business and being quite fabulous. If you are having trouble thinking where to start; try these suggestions.

Next time you are in a cafe or out in public, and see children being really well behaved, say so. Parents often doubt themselves or feel they need to apologise for their children. If a child is sitting well, or you overhear good manners, say so. Everyone wins!

Followup. If you hear a great idea in a meeting or catch up with a friend and really enjoy yourself – send them a text or a email and reiterate it.

Compliment good service. Many people in retail only ever hear when they have not met your expectations. Next time something goes more smoothly than expected, ask to speak to the manager. It is a wonderful surprise for them to be able to pass on good news, not just complaints.

Hug your teenager verbally. Despite their gruff exterior, you will get a grin out of a recalcitrant teen by telling them something you like about them. Make it sincere though, “that was so nice to come home and find everything I asked done – you made my day…”

Say something unexpected. Sometimes older people can feel a bit invisible. Compliment them on their tie, their perfume, their manners. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.

Bosses and staff both like to hear when they are doing well. Make it a habit to comment on things they do right – you will not only improve their view of their workplace, if you have to reprimand them at another time, you have shown yourself to be fair.

Don’t take your partner for granted. It’s easy to grumble about little things, but it can be equally easy to say something nice. It doesn’t always have to be their appearance – how about just that they make life easier to cope with by being around.

Lastly, be nice to yourself. Don’t be so quick to criticise yourself or dismiss compliments. They are meant sincerely and should be accepted graciously!