A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me — I need to speak to him." She is running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
bob023 - 13 years ago
Maori Style
A New Zealand Maori picks up a hooker..
“How much do you charge an hour, sister?” he asks.
“$100,” she replies.
He says “Do you do Maori style?”
“No” she says..
“I pay you $200 to do it Maori style”
“No”, she says, not knowing what Maori style is.
“I pay you $300”
“No”, she says.
“I pay you $400”
“No”, she says..
So finally he says, “OK, I pay you $1,000 to do it Maori style.”
She thinks, “Well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now. I’ve had
Every kind of request from weirdo’s from every part of the world. How bad
Could Maori Style be?”.
So she agrees and has sex with him.
They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position.
Finally, after several hours, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, “Hey, I was expecting something
Perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is ‘Maori style’?”
The Maori replies “You send the bill to Social Welfare!”