A grumpy Navy Captain saw a new face and shouted at him, “Come here! What’s your name, sailor?”
“James,” the new seaman answered.
“Listen carefully sailor, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by their first name,” the captain scowled. “It’s last names only; Carter, Davidson, Cooper, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Captain.’ Do I make myself clear?”
“Aye, Aye, Captain!”
“Now, what’s your last name?”
The sailor sighed. “Darling, My name is James Darling, Captain.”
“Okay, James, here’s what I want you to do…”
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