Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
paul064 - 13 years ago
Estelle’s dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,
‘I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a cheque.’
Oh, by the way don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!’
‘I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!’
When the repairman arrived at Estelle’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. A huge brute of thing.
But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled
‘Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!’
To which the parrot replied, ‘Get him Spike!’