Joke of the Day

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Oh, I see.

Can I see your license, please?

I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Don’t have one?

Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

I can’t do that.

Why not?

I stole this car.

Stole it?

Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

You what?

His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

The woman opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a purse and hands her license to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you, ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.