Amusing Anthology

Actual Comments:

Made by Police Officers and are taken from actual Police Car videos around the country USA

1: ‘You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’

2: ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new.They’ll stretch after you wear them awhile,’

3: ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? Well I guess that means I can write anything I like on this ticket., Huh?’

4: ‘Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention it – I’m the Shift Supervisor.’

5: ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was I a Mouse, a cat, or a Dog?’

6: ‘Just how big were those two beers you say you had?’

7: ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief ( of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post bail on your behalf?’

8: ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right – we don’t. Sign here.’

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Quotes:

When the Power of Love can overcome the KLove of Power, then peace will flourish throughout our world.

Confucius say: You cannot tell how deep a puddle is till you step in it! Nothing is impossible for a man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

Eleanor Roosevelt:- You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face You are able to say to yourself, ’I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’

The danger in refusing to face fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

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Did You Know:

St Swithun is the patron Saint of Rain? He was the Bishop of Winchester – England in the 9th Century and was famous for his lack of pomp and ceremony, plus his financial administration and for allegedly performing a miracle in the town’s market place when he made a basket of eggs whole again.

His fame spread after his death and on 15th July 971AD, his bones were moved from the churchyard to a new shrine in Winchester Cathedral. Torrential rain began to fall and so the legend was born. ( in England( that if it rains on the 15th July, it will continue to do so for 40 days.

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The safety match was invented in the 19th Century, more than 1.5 million years after primitive man discovered fire?

Hun horsemen used to tenderise their meat under their saddles, before eating it raw!

The cost of postage on letters at first, had to be paid by the recipient not the sender.

The word assassin coined during the Crusades, comes from the Arabic Hashishin or “users of hashish”.

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Interesting?

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things they’re  said to be
Said one to the others, ‘Now listen you two,
There’s a certain rumour that can’t be true.
That man has descended from our noble race
Why, the very idea is an utter disgrace.
No monkey ever deserted his wife.
starved her baby and ruined her life
And you’ve never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk
Passing them on from one to another
Till they scarcely knew which one was their mother
And another thing you’ll never see
Is a monk building a fence round my coconut tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me
And another thing a monk won’t do
Is go out at night and get in a stew
And use a club, or a gun or a knife
To take some other monkey’s life
Yes, man descended, the noble cuss
But, brother he didn’t descend from us!.

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What is a Coelacanth?

This fish is a living fossil. It has remained unchanged for millions of years. Until 1938 scientists believed it had been extinct for 70 million years. Since then over 80 specimens have been caught near the Comoro Islands off the coast of East Africa.

They belong to a group of fishes known as lobefins, which have fins supported on fleshy lobes. This group also includes lung fish and the extinct rhipidistians which lived 370 million year ago and were the ancestors of the first amphibians. The Co9elancanth is something of a puzzle for its body has some unusual features. It has a notochord instead of a backbone and its heart and stomach are very simple. There seems to be no reason why this fish should have survived for so long with so little change.

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Venice:

The magical city on water. This growing city was transformed circa 1450’s-1460’s when an unbroken row of magnificent palazzo were constructed side by side along the Grand Canal. The watery gaps between dozens of little islands were filled, forcing riverlets and channels of the lagoon into ever tighter spaces -a process that continued well into the 20th century. On this reclaimed land was constructed the ministries, banks and shipyards that were the engine of Venetian wealth. At its height, Venice waged ware on the encroaching sea the same way it quelled other enemies. This victory was celebrated in a ceremony known as the  Sposalizio del Mar – The Wedding of The Sea. Each year on Ascension Day, the Doge sailed to the edge of the lagoon and threw a ring into the Adriatic and declared, ‘We wed thee, O Sea, in a token of our true and perpetual domain over thee.’

But it was and still is not possible to tame the shrewish sea. The weight of the city buildings presses down on the wet earth. At least five pavements have been laid on the Piazza San Marco, onre on top of the other, as it sinks at a millimetre a time. St Mark’s square is regularly awash in spring and autumn and occasionally as in 1966, catastrophic floods engulfed the town centre. Modern boats with outboard engines of the vaporetti ( water taxis) are adding to the damage. Their wake eats away at the foundations of the very old buildings.