Are you Addicted To Tomorrow? (Part Two)

 Read Part One here.

In the last article I introduced you to ‘Emma Hooked,’ who, we discovered, was addicted to tomorrow.

Here’s a quick review. For over 15 years Emma has held on to the hope that tomorrow her life will change. Maybe tomorrow things will change. Maybe tomorrow she will change. Maybe tomorrow her boss will change and maybe tomorrow she’ll start to feel she’s living her dream instead of simply surviving.

Maybe tomorrow she’ll wake up and find, miraculously, all her debts and relationship identity problems will have been solved. Maybe tomorrow she will have a sense of living a life of fulfillment and purpose. Here’s the bottom-line – Emma is addicted to tomorrow!

So, how does Emma go about overcoming this addiction? We introduced the first two steps, which were ‘Clarify the Dream’ and ‘Think Small, Not Large, Steps’. This week we’ll bring you the last two steps: ‘Narrow The Focus’ and ‘Work On The Dream’.

Narrow the Focus

One of the most challenging aspects of breaking the Tomorrow Addiction is narrowing the focus. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say, success in breaking the addiction is directly related to the willingness to narrow the focus.

To ‘Narrow the Focus’ means to concentrate on the absolute priority actions required to transition. At its essence, narrowing the focus is about ‘deciding to do less in order to be more effective.’ The Law of Concentration is a natural sub-law of the Laws of Cause and Effect, Control and Belief. Those who have broken the Tomorrow Addiction have been those who have continually concentrated on the small steps.

When you narrow your focus you enable yourself to dwell on what you want rather than on what you don’t want. The more you think about what you want, the more of your mental capacity is assigned to ‘get what you want’!

If you think about something long, and often, enough it eventually dominates your thinking and affects your behaviour.

Let me give you a personal example. Recently I’ve come face to face with a particular issue that has been both perplexing and potentially destructive to me for some time. In fact, I will go so far as to say, unless this issue is resolved – rather smartly – then I will be in a position of devastating damage in a very short time.

The other day – while focusing on this ‘problem’ – I came to this realisation: I am actually getting the right answers to the questions I am asking! The problem was not the answer!

The problem was the questions I was asking. I was not asking the right questions and as a result my ‘problem’ was not being solved – no matter how hard I worked at it and how right I was.

When I took the time to go back and clarify my dream and start thinking small steps rather than large, and then narrowed my focus by asking different questions, I was able to see I was simply going about the achievement of my dream in the wrong way.

Which leads us to the final step in overcoming the Tomorrow Addiction.

Work On Your Dream

A dream is like a garden – you need to nurture its growth.

Very few gardens produce their true potential and worth without diligent care and attention. There are three very simple ways of tending your garden – or breaking the Tomorrow Addiction – and working on your dream:

   1. Ban the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary.
2. Eliminate defeating beliefs.
3. Face your fears.

1. Ban the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary

For many of us, the word ‘should’ is one of the most commonly used words in our vocabulary. “I should do this, or I should do that” “I should have gone to the gym”, or “I should really take this trip.”

For those addicted to tomorrow the word ‘should’ plays a controlling role in everyday life. In fact, it becomes so normal it becomes invisible. ‘Should’ exists in the background of the mind, directing choices and decisions.

Saying the word ‘should’ can make a person feel miserable and guilty. It stops a person from focusing on the clarified dream by imposing an outside set of priorities.

So, use this simple two-step model to help you ban the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary, every time you catch yourself saying the word ‘should’.

Step One: Every time you catch yourself saying the word ‘should’ – STOP!

Step Two: REPLACE with either ‘I WILL’ or ‘I WILL NOT.’

By following this process, you’ll notice that you stop saying ‘should’ and start doing what’s necessary to break the cycle of procrastination, or what we call the ‘Tomorrow Addiction.’

2. Next, you need to eliminate defeating beliefs

What you think either propels you forward or keeps you stuck. There is so much written on this already, I won’t even begin to try and write anything original.

So, let me give you a brief summary of what has already been written by hundreds of others: Limiting and negative thoughts about you, your abilities, and the possibilities open to you, are best described as defeating beliefs. They are often very simple, even simplistic, yet they can have a profound effect on your life. To liberate yourself from defeating beliefs you must first identify them. Pay attention to your words.

Often a defeating belief lurks behind an excuse or a fear, particularly concerning the things you are most passionate about. “I’m too old to start this now.” “I won’t be able to make any money doing that.” “I have to be in much better shape.” “I don’t have time.” “It will never work.”

When you explore your excuses and fears, you will discover your defeating beliefs and be able to create a plan to eliminate them.

3. Next, we must face our fears

Fear exposes our vulnerability. We become susceptible to the risk of success or failure, to the thoughts and comments of others, to loneliness or to our own inner critic. Yet feeling frightened can also be enlightening.

Becoming aware that fear is playing a role in your life is often a gift. It gives you a chance to assess what is holding you back. Don’t be afraid of fear. Instead, expose your fear and your determination!

Whenever you feel fear, your mind is often dragged into a hypothetical, future scenario where you think you might fail. Your brain is over-analyzing a possible situation which leads, for many of us, to a negative, downward spiral of thoughts. This expands and empowers your fear to the point where you become almost paralyzed.

So, how do you beat the fear in such situations? When you identify which fears are getting in your way, you can then take all proper and possible precautions to move safely through them. Understanding your fears will help you minimize them as you aim to pursue your dreams. Let me paraphrase Joel Osteen, the best selling author of “Your Best Life Now”: “You come into this world fully loaded, ready to do whatever your can dream.” You have all the wisdom and power to identify and overcome any fear that comes between you and your dream.

Summing It All Up

When you dispel your “shoulds,” overcome defeating beliefs and understand, identify and face your fears, you gain the courage it takes to pursue and realise your life’s ambition. It’s your life, live it to the fullest.

There you have it. Don’t let tomorrow lure you into its addictive habit. Start today and clarify the dream, then think small steps, not large ones, and follow it up by narrowing the focus and finally, work every day on your dream.

Until next time… DARE TO DREAM!!!!!

Eugene