Way #6 to Kill Conflict – Take Turns

 Read more from Eva-Maria here.

TAKE TURNS at talking. Give the other person room to convey their ideas, and you will get the same chance too.

In all fairness, we want the other person to always hear what we have to say, and stand in our shoes, and all that jazz. But are we being congruent with how we like being treated?

Treat other people how they want to be treated.

When you’re speaking to someone, communicating, having a dialogue or conflict, of course you want your view to come across and for everyone to understand your view, so give the other person time to say what they need to, and actually listen.
 
I know, sometimes I have my own hidden agenda, and I want to talk and talk and talk and the other person to understand where I’m coming from, without having to listen to what they’re saying. But this is B-A-D – you can miss out on some great opportunities to build a worthy relationship – and all you had to do to get that was simply listen to the other person!
 
Imagine how much more understanding, less wars (not kidding), and more love would exist on Earth if in every single conversation, both people were present, paying attention, listening to what the other person had to say, and tying it in with the message they want to send?!
 
Easier said than done, I know, but hey, the first thing you need to do is simply be aware of this. And now try to apply it. Giving the teen their space to talk and express their view, will show them that you respect the conversation and their view, and they will show you the same respect by listening when you’re talking.
 
Apart from taking turns at expressing you view, you’re also allowed to ask questions to clarify what the teen means. After all, you want to make sure you’re both on the same page, and are understanding what the other person is trying to communicate.

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Eva-Maria <3
em@youshutup.co.nz