Christmas – A Time To Be Mentally Strong

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another” — William James- American Philosopher and Psychologist

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist who became well known for her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do in which she offers simple yet effective solutions for increasing mental strength and finding happiness and success in life.

To do this she gives examples of how mentally strong people avoid negative behaviours, such as feeling sorry for ourselves, resenting others and dwelling on the past. Instead, we should focus on the positive to help us overcome challenges and become our best.

As we approach the end of the year, celebrating the Christmas season, finishing the year, taking our much earned summer holidays if we live in the Southern hemisphere, this is a very timely reminder for us about not only how to survive in this “silly season” but how to thrive in it.

Although you can find the details of Morin’s 13 Things for yourself, I thought I would talk about some of the more pertinent ones as an “end of year” or “Secret Santa” gift for you – some things to avoid if you wish to be mentally strong

Feeling sorry for ourselves

We are very susceptible to allow things to mount up in December and we can easily feel as if we are ‘swamped’ with things to do, gifts to buy, food to prepare and people to consider. Our reaction to this is often to feel sorry for ourselves and turn in on our own problems. Whether we are struggling to make ends meet at this time, or dealing with unexplained health problems, indulging in self-pity will not fix our problems. If we are prone to feeling self-pity when things become difficult, we can try to become conscious of when this happens and train our brains to swap self-pity for gratitude. With this new focus we are also likely to focus on solutions.

Blaming others

Many of us will find ourselves spending time with family and friends during this season, some of whom we do not see regularly. If we have thoughts like “My mother-in-law upsets me,” or “My boss makes me feel bad about myself”, that gives those people power over us. By accepting full responsibility for how we think, feel, and behave we are back “in the driving seat.” Empowering ourselves is an essential component to building mental strength.

Worrying about things we can’t control

It has been said that we worry mostly about things that will never happen or we cannot control. If we think about this, it does seem such an absolute waste of energy. If we put as much energy into the things we do have control over, we’d be much better prepared for whatever life throws our way. Try to take time over this holiday season to think about the times when you’re tempted to worry about something you can’t control and devote that energy into something more productive.

Repeating our Mistakes Over and Over Again

This is not the first Christmas we have had to deal with. We have made some of the same mistakes several times and have probably promised ourselves we will never do that again. Learning from our mistakes requires humility and a willingness to look for new strategies to become better. If we practise this when we are around family and friends I am sure they will notice the “new you.” See these changes as opportunities for self-growth.

Fearing Alone Time

For many of us in this season, obtaining a little quiet time may take some effort. But if you are the type of person who feels swamped and bombarded with so many things to do, time to yourself is an essential component to building mental strength. Mentally strong people create opportunities to be alone with their thoughts, reflect on their progress, and create goals for the future.

I am also very aware that many people find themselves alone at Christmas time and it is time with others that they will be looking for. Perhaps this is the time to start planning how much time you wish to spend with others and how you will make changes for next time.

Like physical strength, mental strength requires healthy habits, exercise, and hard work. These ideas above may help you this year.

We will either find a way, or make one! – Hannibal

By Ron Tustin. Read more here.

Revive and Thrive Coaching, Professional Coach.

www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.