Humour

A lady goes into a dentists office, gets on a chair and spreads her legs far apart.

Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it.

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."

An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15 lb. weapon in hand, after having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is sh!t"

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.

A lady walks into a bar and says, "Barkeep, gimme a martooni."

Eight year old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's.

Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husbands best mate Peter when suddenly the phone rang.