What Going Back to School Looks Like Now (Compared With When We Were Kids)

As January edges towards February, many households are shifting gears. School bags are reappearing, uniforms are being found (or discovered to be too small), and routines are being talked about again. For grandparents, this moment often comes with a quiet pause. Watching grandchildren head back to school can prompt a comparison hard to ignore: school does not look the way it did when we were young.

The differences go far beyond tablets and smartphones. The entire experience of being a student has changed, and understanding that shift can help grandparents stay connected, supportive, and realistic about what young people are navigating today.

School used to stay at school

For many of us, the school day had clear boundaries. The bell rang, you went home, and school largely stayed behind until the next morning. Homework existed, but it rarely consumed evenings or weekends. There was time to roam, read, help out, or simply be bored.

Today, school follows students home. Online portals, learning apps, and group chats mean assignments, reminders, and comparisons never fully switch off. Teenagers, in particular, carry their school day in their pocket. This constant connection can be useful, although it also brings pressure previous generations never experienced.

For grandparents, this explains why grandchildren may seem distracted or tired even when they are “not doing much.” Their minds are rarely far from school.

Technology is part of learning, not a reward

Technology once felt like a treat or a novelty. Computer time was limited and supervised. Now it is embedded in education from the earliest years. Research, collaboration, submissions, and communication often happen online.

This shift can feel confronting for older generations who learned through books, handwriting, and face-to-face discussion. It is tempting to frame screens as a problem rather than a tool. For today’s students, technology is simply part of how school works.

Curiosity, rather than concern, tends to open better conversations. Asking how something is learned now, instead of why it is done differently, signals respect and interest.

The pressure starts earlier

One of the most noticeable changes is how early performance pressure appears. Testing, assessments, and comparisons begin younger. Teenagers, in particular, are acutely aware of academic expectations, future pathways, and the sense choices made now will shape the rest of their lives.

For many of us, important life decisions—school subjects, career paths, and long-term goals—felt further away and more flexible. Mistakes often seemed easier to recover from. Today, young people face more visible pressures earlier, making that sense of breathing room harder to find.

Grandparents often bring something invaluable here: perspective. A reminder lives rarely follow a straight line, and one year, one result, or one setback rarely defines a person. This reassurance carries weight when it comes from someone who has lived it.

School communities look different too

Classrooms today are more diverse, inclusive, and complex. Conversations around identity, mental health, and wellbeing are more open than they once were. While this progress is positive, it also means students are exposed to adult-level topics at a younger age.

Some grandparents worry children are growing up too fast. Others feel uncertain about how to talk about these issues without saying the wrong thing. Listening remains the most powerful response. Young people often do not need agreement or solutions. They need space to talk without judgment.

One way to encourage this is to make simple observations or comment on something you notice—rather than asking a broad question—like mentioning an activity they seemed engaged in or something they mentioned earlier. Sometimes conversation flows more easily during shared tasks, such as cooking, gardening, or going for a short walk together. Gentle prompts—‘That sounds tricky—how did you handle it?’ or ‘I hear you’—show you’re listening and interested, without pushing them to respond in a certain way. Often, just being present and attentive is enough to help them open up naturally.

Parents are under pressure as well

Another key difference is the load carried by parents. School communication is constant. Expectations around involvement, availability, and support have increased—even as more parents are working full time, or single parents juggle it all, compared with ‘our days’ when stay-at-home parents were more common. Many parents have to juggle work, caregiving, and school demands simultaneously.

Grandparents frequently play a quiet stabilising role here, offering childcare, listening ears, or simply a calm presence. Recognising this pressure can strengthen empathy across generations and ease family tension during busy back-to-school weeks.

What grandparents offer that schools cannot

While schooling has changed dramatically, the role of grandparents remains remarkably steady. You offer time, attention, and a sense of continuity. You remember a world without instant answers and constant evaluation. That perspective is grounding.

Grandchildren often open up to grandparents in ways they do not with parents or teachers. Conversations during car rides, walks, or shared meals matter more than advice ever could.

It is not about understanding every app, subject, or system. It is about showing interest, asking gentle questions, and being present without needing to fix anything.

Holding the comparison lightly

Comparing “then” and “now” is natural. It can also be misleading if it turns into judgment. Every generation faces its own challenges. Ours were different, not necessarily easier.

School today is faster, louder, and more demanding in some ways. It is also more supportive, flexible, and aware in others. Holding both truths allows grandparents to stay connected rather than critical.

As grandchildren head back to school, there is value in noticing what has changed and what has not. Young people still want encouragement, understanding, and someone in their corner. That part remains timeless.