Verbal Encouragement For Kids

It’s hard to see your children upset. As a parent or grandparent, it is entirely natural to want to alleviate their distress or to encourage them whenever possible.

Try these expressions and strategies to acknowledge their feelings honestly, or to offer encouragement.  Rather than, ‘don’t cry,’ try ‘everyone needs to cry sometimes – I’m here to listen.’

Children should be able to express their emotions constructively, rather than suppress them. You may also like to try talking about what is causing the tears – “I know you’re frustrated/disappointed about ‘x’ – we’ll try and make it happen another time,” or similar…It’s important children learn to verbalise what is bothering them, rather than only ‘making noise.’ Constructively expressing their emotions is a great skill to foster.

Avoid promises. They are usually made with the best of intentions, but can often be hard to fulfil, as life is unpredictable. Broken promises hurt and can damage trust. Instead, it’s fine to tell your children that you will do your best to accommodate their requests, and explain that their may be factors outside of your control. We tell them to do their best – the same should be fine for adults.

If you do make a promise and end up breaking it, acknowledge it and apologise. You’re teaching your children how to behave when they fail to live up to their word (and we all do sometimes). Even if it’s something that seems trivial to you, it may matter a lot to your child. So do your best to be an example of honesty, and when you’re not, step up and take responsibility for your failure.

Children have a different perspective on life that we do. While their issues may seem small, try not to minimise their feelings by saying that ‘it’s no big deal.’

“I know you really wanted to do that, but it’s not going to work out for today,” or “I’m sorry you’re disappointed and the answer is no,” are far more respectful than trying to convince your child that their desires don’t really matter.

Similarly, it’s often hard for adults to analyse our behaviour. For children, it’s nigh on impossible to explain why they behaved in an inappropriate manner, so they are unlikely to be able to answer ‘why did you do that?’ even when asked repeatedly.

There is no doubt that at times that we could all communicate better. Commit to teaching your children open, clear and honest techniques to express themselves – there is no better life skill!