Dreaming Of A Bright Christmas

There is nothing like the festive season to make those who are single feel like the leading man/woman in a dark movie.
It’s as if the official celebration tradition of Christmas and the New Year shine a bright light on everything we are missing. Society seems to be telling us that unless we have the cheerful company of good friends and a loving whanau we are not complete. Where are those happy holidays’ days …days of long gone by? Well!

Let me tell you that I am a grown-up who has had my share of single Christmases – and this year I am facing another one. But instead of giving in to melancholy reminiscing …I’ll be giving you my Top 10 tips on How To Beat The Boxing Day Blues..

Number one tip is to do what I’m doing right now;

Write a song, poem or story
Creativity is God’s greatest gift – no matter how lonely I get, I can always find a cheer in a thought expressed in a book, a poetic line in a song or a feeling caught in a painting. And listening, watching or reading other’s inspiration usually is enough to get my fancy going. Take for example the John Lennon song Imagine.

Tip one; Listen to John Lennon’s Imagine and imagine John sitting at your Christmas table – telling you these thoughts; imagine there’s no countries, nothing to kill or die for, it’s easy if you try.
Then just talk back to him and turn that into your song or story.
By the way; did you know that My Way was originally a French song, translated by Paul Anka? Both Paul and the original songwriter Claude Francois made a bucket load of money from writing down their blues!

Stock up on DVDs/videos/magazines or books
Never mind the sayings about laziness or self-indulgence; movies are made to bring you magic. When I was a lonely run-away in London – straight out of high school and working the night shift in a big hotel, I discovered the all-night movies at the Nothing Hill Gate Cinema and the all-day marathons at the Leicester Square Theatre. Hours fade like cheap dye when you watch all the Pink Panthers in a row or a Michael Caine omnibus.

By the way; that was in the seventies and video or DVD had not been invented. Now you can fill your pre-Christmas days, rummaging the op shops to stock up on High Society, The Prince and The Showgirl, Sabrina (the version with Harrison Ford) The English Pateint, Out Of Africa and other Robert Redford greats (The original Great Gatsby for example)

Don’t bother with anything that has hobbits, war, Christmas, dysfunctional families or violence in it unless you are a bloke. In that case go for The Italian Job (the original one) and all the Hitchcock you can get your hands on. Alternatively; Jacky Chans and dubbed/ sub-titled Asian martial art movies. Or how about a James Bond marathon or for laughs, Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Place a free classified ad on GrownUps
Go for it! No better way to beat the blues than to take some action. I know New Zealand closes down for Christmas day and then on Boxing Day punters take the highway by the droves to hunt down their Boxing Day bargains at Noel Leemings. I know that you either want nothing of that or can’t afford nothing off that. But trust me; you can get your adrenaline going by placing a free classified ad in Grown Ups today to invite another singleton to meet you at McDonalds (at least they stay open on Christmas day)

By the way; Places like Mitre 10 and Bunnings have great cafés which are good places to arrange meeting your first blind date on Boxing Day. You can waste most of a day watching the frantic punters fighting over a reduced price cloth hanger while sipping your coffee (to which you’ve added a few drops of Irish Whiskey to celebrate being single)

Then you can chat with a total Grown up stranger you’ve arranged to meet, whom you’ll recognise because he/she will be wearing a rose in his/her mouth. You can always steal borrow a screwdriver if you want to protect yourself against unwanted groping (men, be warned, lonely females can be dangerous gropers) and if you start saving up now you should be able to afford the bus fare and the cost of your cup of tea with savoury muffin. This brings me to Top tip four.

Travel ( if possible on public transport!)
You may have noted in this dissertation I’m addressing GrownUps with limited financial means and that is because all the affluent single GrownUps will be on the road already. Travel is the single best way to beat the blues (as well as being tops for writing a blues song – note how many blues songs are about moving around around around around!)

If you live rurally, it can be especially important to get away. Start planning now to make that possible. You need to get a bus-ride to the Starbucks or the Subway where you’ve planned your blind date. Alternatively if you live anywhere in the central North Island – get a ride to Te Awamutu and take the Overlander (train) to National Park and back! (Sorry, I haven’t checked if they actually have a service on Christmas Day)

Top Tip 4A: Check who in your village is going to church in a bigger town and hitch a ride. Top Tip 4B: Check out the time table of the intercity bus, the naked bus or the Mana bus. Top Tip 4C: Book your ticket or if you are short-tempered get someone to book for you.
By the way; as a general rule, it is true that both iSite staff & ticket staff at bus companies share a high degree of inefficiency that can easily make a grown man/woman cry)

Create a Christmas co-op with other singletons near you 
You’re not alone! And it’s not your fault that you are alone! Remember that there is no shame or guilt in being on your own during the festive season. That’s just the big bad commercial world out there trying to make you feel like something is wrong with you if you aren’t surrounded by elves and reindeers while consuming quantities of drink and food and sharing presents you don’t need with people you may not even really like. My remedy; get together with others who are alone – in your street, in your building, in your sit & be fit group! Find out who also is alone and work out a plan together.
By the way; a Stray Cats Christmas or New Year’s party is a great way to stay awake and have some festive ambiance. To qualify being invited guests have to be singletons. Everyone has to bring a plate and perform one trick – read a poem, tell a joke or sing a song.

Here are my other top tips, more about which I’ll divulge next week:

Swap days
i.e. Sleep through Friday 25th and wake up on the 26th when all of New Zealand opens up again.

Start a big cupboard, garage or pantry clean out
Top Tip 7A: Have a cupboard, garage or pantry sale on Christmas Day which you advertise in our classifieds section. Combination Tip; package your sale with a stray cats party. Guests also have to bring folding chair.

Check out a new meet-up group
More about that next time! Warning; You need to be computer savvy for this one as it requires ID’s, passwords and complicated message systems with emails and on line discussion flows that always confuse me.

Do volunteer work
Nothing like a mission to forget about your sorrow! There are heaps of people who need your help and affection. And the usual helpers often have their one break of the year – Meals on Wheels, reading to the hearing impaired at rest homes, taking around library books in hospitals, walking stray cats, etcetera.

Go to church
You don’t have to have the faith to believe, believe me. Churches and masses are great instigators for mindfulness. Just stopping your everyday rambling, grumbling and navel-staring to contemplate the higher being and the wonder of the rose that by any other name would smell as sweet…try it! And also; it’s OK to cry – you can sit on the back bench and let it all well-up. Everyone else in the room is including you in their prayers.

Last tip; just remember those Christmases when you were surrounded by people …. And you felt totally alone, dysfunctional, misunderstood ….. So go out and enjoy company of your choosing (maybe just your own!)

AROHANUI…..By Monica Louis. Read more here.