If You Have Nothing Better To Say

Have you ever caught yourself sounding exactly like your parents? The first time, it’s often a bit confronting! After that, it may dawn on you that these ’universal parent-isms’ are pretty smart.

One of the best is “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

The world really does have enough whiners, grumpy old men, dissatisfied youth and generally disenfranchised humans. Not many people really want a world with more war, more disease, more conflict, less love and more unhappiness. So why do we spend so much time complaining?

If there is any truth to the theory that ‘what goes around comes around,’ then what kind of world are the complainers, the dissatisfied, the disgruntled and the all-out mean creating?

People are fallible. People make mistakes. Technology fails. Is it usually the intention? No.

Before you grumble, abuse, harass or otherwise try and upset another person, stop and think; were they possibly doing their best and made a mistake? Have you ever made a mistake and inadvertently upset someone? Would you have appreciated understanding and forgiveness? Could you possibly be more tolerant? Could you couch your complaint in constructive terms or do you have to try and ruin someone’s day?

Try this as an experiment. Spread some joy. Say a heartfelt thank you when someone meets your expectations as often as you complain when they don’t.
For example;
– If you really enjoy your morning coffee at your local cafe, make as much noise about that as you would if you felt it was substandard.

– If your car is serviced to standard and running well when it comes back from the mechanic, say thank you as sincerely (or put it in writing) as you would gripe if they missed something critical.

– If someone is kind and goes out of their way to help you, comment as enthusiastically as you would chastise them for rudeness.

– If you have to call someone on a helpline, ask to speak to their manager if they answer your question and mention them by name. You would if they didn’t help you, wouldn’t you? (This one is really fun actually. Both the person and the manager will start off guarded and end up utterly gobsmacked by the compliment. Imagine how good their day will be and how much harder they will try to help after such feedback…)
It makes you think doesn’t it? How often do you actually compliment as opposed to complain? Have you turned into a grump without realising it? It’s never too late to change. Complaining becomes a habit. The beauty of people is that they are usually respond in kind. If you are nicer, you will receive more kindness and generosity. Try it. It’s free. What is the worst that could happen? (Psst, the answer is: we can change the world. For the better.) Get involved!

Finally, here’s comedian Louis CK discussing the modern grump. Have a look, then a think.