Santa’s Kitchen Helper

 Read more from Gerald

For well over a month now in shops and on television, in newspapers, magazines and junk mail I have been exhorted to get my act together for Christmas. Here we are less than a month away and I am still not ready for it. There’s the house to decorate, inside and out; the tree to put up, which entails rearranging the furniture; cards to send, menus to plan and shop for; happily, as you know, I have cleaned the barbecue already and we are not going away this year and so avoid having to cancel post and papers, cattery Parker the cat, service the car, pack etc., etc., etc.. But there is still the matter of presents, everything from a Secret Santa for the party at work to the ever-more expensive gifts for family

And so amid the retail orgy of Christmas, at a time when a family can pauperize itself by just sending cards, I can’t help thinking of Tom Lehrer, the mathematician and humourist, who wrote in one of his parodies, “God Rest You Merry, Merchants. May You Make the Yuletide Pay”.  

Given the current fiscal climate I hope Donna will not think me less than maritorious if I don’t buy her the $4000+ espresso machine and coffee grinder and so condemn her to another year of coffee short of perfection…if the claims of this machine are to be believed. Instead I might get her “Fleur” the biography of NZ restaurateur Fleur Sullivan; it will go nicely with last year’s successful present of the cookbook “Fleur’s Place”.

As I close my purse and turn my back on the overpriced Yuletide kitchenalia like the revolving cake stand that plays "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and lets everyone see the faults in the icing which otherwise could be hidden at the back, the box of matching pâté knives with reindeer shaped handles, the holly-shaped cookie cutters, Santa biscuit jars, festive aprons, seasonal things to stir the sort of drinks one only has at this time of year and a plethora of Christmas table centres, I think friends and co-workers might also get a book, perhaps one of the wonderful and inexpensive “Great Food” series by Penguin. These 20 slim volumes, each retailing at only $13 contain the inspiring writings and recipes of some of the world’s greatest cooks and food writers, people like Elizabeth David, Alexis Soyer and MFK Fisher…I might even put them on my Christmas list.

Of course there is always the gift of food. I don’t mean things like the seasonal confectionery that have been in supermarkets since the Easter Bunny left or the tins of cheap and rather boring Danish butter cookies, no, something  homemade and special…pickles, chutneys, jams, sauces, chocolate truffles, nougat, mustards, spice mixes, flavoured oils, tapenade, your imagination is the only limitation. Here are a couple of simple ideas:

Jamaica Own Chilli Sauce?

• 4 large onions

• 500g hot red chillies (the small ones are hottest)

• 4½ tsp salt

• 3 tbsp English mustard (I find MasterFoods the best)

• 1 tbsp paprika

• ½ cup olive oil

• 2 cups cider vinegar

Peel and roughly chop the onions. Remove the stems from the chillies then put them into a processor with the onions and salt and process to a smooth paste. Add the mustard, paprika and oil, mix well then turn into a glass or ceramic bowl.

Bring the vinegar to a boil and pour over the chilli/onion mixture then leave to cool.

When cool, mix again then pour into sterilized bottles or jars and seal. Kept in a cool, dark place, it should keep for months. Makes about 1.25l.

This next one is just so easy. Use it in tagines and couscous or as a meat rub. Mixed with a little oil it makes an excellent barbecue baste.

Moroccan Spice Mix

• 1 tbsp cumin seeds

• 1 tbsp coriander seeds

• 18 cardamom pods (seeds only)

• 1½ tsp fennel seeds

• 1½ tsp black peppercorns

• 2 tbsp paprika

• 1 tbsp ground cinnamon

• 1 tbsp ground turmeric

• 1 tbsp cayenne pepper (or to taste)

• 1 tbsp salt

• 1½ tsp sugar (raw sugar if possible)

• 1½ ground allspice

In a heavy based pan gently roast the cumin, coriander, cardamom, fennel and peppercorns. Finely grind the seeds and mix with the other ingredients. Stored in small airtight jars it should keep for 3 or so months. Makes about 100g.

Note: make sure all of the ground spices are fresh!

Decorate the jars and bottles and there you are. It’s making me feel less stressed already, I might gently saunter into town and have a coffee and a relaxed look at the shops, after all I have got, let me see, three weeks…oh…well, maybe I will take the car…and forget the coffee.