Bad glasses

I spent adolescence trapped behind spectacles and matching acne. I suspect that my mother conspired with the optician to make sure I was always fitted with the geekiest nerdiest  frames available so that I would never been in any risk of getting girls in trouble. My thick framed brown glasses were a sort of chastity belt I wore on my face. Not only did they cause social rejection but I could also  see very clearly and crisply who it was who was rejecting me.

My spectacles were fashion disasters, but they did allow me to view my teenage world with clarity.  And now, forty years down the track from puberty, I can see my adolescence with even greater clarity. Through working with youth, I have witnessed many many young people going through those turbulent teenage years, and I can now see something about my adolescence I never saw at the time. I was normal. I… was… normal! If you had tried to tell me that back then I would have offered you the use of my glasses to have another look. Look at the size of these feet. Look at this hair. Look at these spots. Do these look normal to you? Well, from my perspective in the year 2013 having seen hundred of teens, I would say yes, perfectly normal.

Every teenager needs to be warned, preferably even before they hit puberty. There is a huge chasm called ‘Inferiority’, and nearly every teen tumbles into it. They don’t like themselves: they think they are ugly, or dumb, or believe that they will never appeal to the opposite sex. Even beautiful teenagers worry about their looks, even cocky and confident ones worry a crack might appear in their mask. Warn them: they don’t have to tumble into the chasm. And rescue the ones that have fallen in.  Compliment them, emphasize their talents, challenge their opinion of themselves. And don’t let them choose dull spectacles – make sure they’re as beautiful and styley as the beautiful person they really are.

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