I’ve often blown it with my kids. Usually it was getting too angry, too loud. Sometimes I’ve known I’ve blown it… sometimes I didn’t realize and needed my wife to gently say, “I think that was a bit too harsh. I think they might be a little too offended to get the point of what you were trying to say”. And so I apologised.
Now some parents refuse to apologise to their kids because they think they will lose their kids respect – wrong! I think the opposite is true. I think our kids will forgive us almost anything, except hypocrisy. They know we’re not perfect – I mean, when they’re little they will think you’re great – I used to think my Dad was superman, but as I got older I realised that actually he was just a strange old guy with a cape. Our kids will eventually sniff out all our faults – and so we may as well own up to them.
“Sorry about that telling off kids. I wasn’t very happy about that mess you made, but you didn’t deserve that much of a growling. I was just being a bit of a grump” “That’s all right dad, we’re used to it”. And it’s forgotten and blows out the window. If we don’t back down, I think there is a real risk of that offense festering away and into real resentment, a chip on their shoulder that could really stink up the relationship.
For more hot tips on parenting, check out TheParentingplace.com . And I am really sorry if there is something I should apologize to you about.
- 11 years ago
I couldn’t agree more. We expect apologies from our children, so we should set the example and be honest about our mistakes. It is what gets respect, that you give respect, too.