GrownUps Story

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Most parents would agree that it is hard when our children grow up and leave the nest.

When they are little you do not tend to look that far ahead, you just live for the ‘now’.

All the family holidays, outings and picnics are times we all cherish but before you know it, they are ready to go out into the big wide world.

From kindergarten to high school to University – it is all an exciting and rewarding time. Seeing our family achieve gives us a great sense of pride. I know how I cried when they graduated at University. My husband and I gave ourselves a pat on the back as we felt we had done well as parents. Sometimes our children needed a bit of a push and hopefully, today they are glad we did.

Having three children and watching them grow up into well-rounded adults has indeed been a blessing. My husband and I wanted to see they had the best education possible. We wanted their lives to be full of hope and promise. We chose to have them, therefore it was our duty to be there to nurture and encourage.

I recall my son going to the University of NSW to do his masters in Fine Arts. All he really wanted to do was paint.  Somehow, I managed to convince him to be an art teacher. Being a teacher has opened a completely new world for him. It has given him the opportunity to teach in far off countries, learn new cultures and it has been a rewarding experience for both him and his family.

Having your children live overseas is hard. It was hard enough when my son headed off to Gore for his first teaching job. My mother had just passed away and one of my daughters and her family decided to move to Brisbane.

I was devastated everyone was leaving. From having a biggish family to just having one daughter left at home was hard. It took me years to adjust to the quiet and tidiness!

I have always dreamt of having my family close by, being involved in my grandchildren’s lives and just being a family. I am fortunate that I am closely involved with one of my little grandsons and I am his caregiver while Mum and Dad are at work. In two years he will be off to school. This is going to be hard and I will feel the wrench of another child leaving to go out into the big world. Having him around daily has been full of adventure. He is a very curious little boy and I am never sure what each day is going to bring.

Travel and the internet brings your family overseas closer but it is not the same. Being able to share your joys and sorrows and just being able to give them a hug is what I miss.

Both my daughters birthdays are in August and I called my daughter in Brisbane for her birthday this morning. Every August since she was born one single daffodil has come out especially for her on her birthday. I reminded her of this when we spoke on the phone. Both of us got a bit weepy.

I am glad my children are experiencing new places and reaching new goals overseas but that does not stop me missing them. I also miss my grandchildren’s milestones and seeing them develop. The two older ones are in High School and soon to be heading off to University. Our other little grandson has travelled to eleven different countries in his first two years of life. I am sad that I have missed his growing from a baby into a little boy. I am sure he is going to grow up full of knowledge and will always remember the colourful and interesting childhood that his parents have been able to offer him.

Eighteen months ago, our family had Christmas at our home. We were all together for the first time in years and it was a special time. There were two little baby boys and two teenage grandchildren. It was awesome. Those memories are precious.

We are now planning our next reunion. This time it will be in Tokyo in May 2013. I cannot wait, just being together again will be so special. When we do all get together, it seems as if time itself has stood still. Its just the same – we might look a bit older but time that has passed seems to fade away. This is something I hang on to and I hope I will get many more opportunities to do this with my family over the next few years.

I make no apologies for being a sentimental, family-orientated person. I am what I am and I am not going to change. I was never an over-clucky ‘mumsy’ sort of person but my children and grandchildren are a gift and I treasure them all.

By Kay Rayner