Advice To Make Good Boys Great Men

Men are their own creatures and teaching a boy to become a man is a lifetime project. There are so many things men are supposed to ‘be,’ but they all need to be taught.

Here  are 10 things that get men-in-training off to a good start (but can just as easily be applied to the ladies-in-training).

When to ask for advice

It’s a generalisation, but men don’t love asking for advice. Give a little boy a faulty toy and he’ll tell you in no uncertain terms that he can fix it, regardless of the condition. This desire to fix things and natural belief is fantastic. As your boy grows up, teach him how to fix things and where the dangers lie – when to try something and when to call a professional or ask for advice. 

How to cook

Every fella should be able to rustle up a good meal or three. Teach boys how exciting and creative cooking can be, and how much better they feel when they are well nourished. The bonus will be that good cooks never go out of style when it comes to being a flatmate or significant other.

How to clean

Again, cleanliness and tidiness is always in demand. Not only does it make your space easier to live in, it helps keep one well organised, calm and in control. 

How to manage money

Spend some, save some, give some away. Have a plan. Live within your means and know where you’re at. Good money management is a key skill for everyone.

How to speak well in public

Shyness is real. However, in most occupations, there will be a time when you need to stand up and speak authoritatively to a group. Teach your son how to stand confidently, project his voice and how to structure a decent speech. This starts early. Teach small boys to speak to adults and make eye contact with friends, relatives and new acquaintances early – it is a priceless skill. Give them warning and clear instructions; “We’re going to see So-and-So – they are Daddy’s friend, please make sure you say hi in a big voice, look at their eyes and shake their hands. If they ask you a question, answer it politely and ask them one back.”

How to give a good handshake

Neither a crusher nor a wet fish be. Yes, it seems obvious, but handshakes and good manners go hand-in-hand (excuse the pun). Firm, fair, with good eye contact; a handshake says a lot about a man, no matter what the age. 

How to fight fair

Be in in the playground, the boardroom or at home, this is a big one. Disagreements in life are inevitable, how you deal with them is not. Teach by example; stick to the issue. Do not attack the person. Be fair. Be civil. Do not bully. Do not assume. Do not generalise. Admit when you are wrong. Apologise sincerely, completely and swiftly if you are.

How to take care of your health

Doctors are not to be feared. Know how to keep yourself healthy and do it. Know your body and have it checked regularly.

Acknowledge fear and vulnerability

Love and life can be scary. To truly love, you need to drop your walls and trust another person with your heart. Talk to your son about love. Tell him all the parts of it. Tell him about the times you felt you got it right, and the times you didn’t. Let him ask you about the times you felt overwhelmed or scared. Tell him he doesn’t need to know everything to be a man. Teach him to never stop learning.

How to find balance

Any well rounded person will tell you that life is about balance. They spend some time working, some time with family and friends, some time alone. The busier life becomes, the easier it is to lose that balance. Teach your son that all of these things are important, because too much of one and not enough of the other can lead to burnout, heartache or a sense of frustration.