- All men are idiots, and I married their King.
- So many stupid people… so few comets.
- Your kid may be an honorrs student, but you're still an idiot.
- Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
- I Brake for no apparent reason.
- Learn from your parents' mistakes — use birth control.
- Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
- Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
- OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
- Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
lyn031 - 12 years ago
big cats are dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.