Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s behind and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I’m now banned from that supermarket.
janda - 9 years ago
My wife and I went to the supermarket today, at the checkout we were asked “What have you guys got on today?” When I replied ” a shirt, trousers, shoes and socks” my wife would have kicked me but the checkout lady laughed. I reckon laughter makes the world go round.