What Makes Us Happy?

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I am sure most of us have a special, certain something that makes us happy. It might be something simple or it might be something grand.

No matter what ‘it’ is, we should all strive to be happy and fulfilled.

With all the pressure in today’s ‘modern’ world I think it is becoming more and more important to take time out and do something that helps relax us and make us happy – whether that be taking a walk, flying a kite or planning something special.

For me, I enjoy reading, writing, musical theatre and travel.

I also enjoy eating out and trying different cuisine. Italian food is my favourite; all those yummy pastas on offer with lovely sauces. I also love a great antipasto, with different tasty cheeses and cold meats.

My husband and I like to travel overseas when we can, especially to Italy. We have been to Rome, Venice, Florence, Milan, Bellagio (on Lake Como) as well as Lucca and Assisi.  Spending time in the smaller places like Lucca and Assisi was just so special. Walking around the small walled towns with their cobbled streets and just soaking up the atmosphere is like looking through a window of times gone by; it is quite a unique feeling.

For me, just doing simple things gives me as much pleasure as doing grand things.

I enjoy a quiet walk on the beach as it is so refreshing and all your cares seem to flow out of you with the outgoing tide.

Something else I really enjoy is sitting around the dinner table with family after dinner and just chatting. It is relaxing and it gives us time to catch up on all the days’ events and time just to be together. It is so easy to rush dinner, clean up, watch a bit of telly then off to bed. Doing this every day is somewhat monotonous in my book. Making dinner a two-hour event is an Italian institution, and our family has definitely adopted this practice over the years – though we do tend limit it to the Sunday Roast and special occasions.

Trying to fit time out into an already busy life can be hard. It is so easy to push ourselves to the limit. I am one of those people who find it hard to relax as often as I should. I like being busy but on the other hand I like quiet time and time to reflect. Sometimes I do not know how to balance the two needs.

I often go to bed with my head racing, thinking of all the things I need to do or should do which does not lead to a very restful sleep.

As I am getting older, I actually seem to be much busier than I was when I was younger. Learning to pace yourself and prioritise time is not always easy. My husband is always telling me to slow down, I say I will but I know I will not and I am sure he realises that as well.

I am fortunate that my husband has his weekend mid week so that gives us the opportunity to spend time together when it is not as busy as a normal weekend. We really enjoy going for lunch on a Thursday with our little three-year-old grandson and just having a potter around together.

Often on a Wednesday, we head off to the local library and get our travel books to help us plan for our holiday next year. We have changed our mind so many times about where we are going, I really feel sorry for our travel agent! It is always fun looking at all the glossy travel brochures and books. I think half the excitement in a holiday is in the planning.

I am really looking forward to just totally chilling while we are away. No TV, no chores and no timetables or clock watching. Staying in one place for a month for me is perfect. We have been on holidays where we have been on the move every few days. I think I am over that. I just want to be settled in one place, relax, and just watch the world go by and enjoy everything that Italy has to offer.

This time I plan to pack even lighter than usual. My husband and I will travel with one suitcase between us and one cabin bag. This is for a six-week trip. The idea of lugging around suitcases and endless bags really does not appeal to us at all. Mind you, I will need a little bit of room so I can buy a few goodies to bring home!

It can be so easy to fall into a rut and put things off until next week, next month or next year. If we do that on a regular basis, we often put things off until it is too late and the opportunity is lost and we are left with regret.

When our children grow up, we tend have more time on our hands. How we use that time is entirely up to us. I want to reach a ripe old age, look back over my life, and feel happy that I was not afraid to take chances. Being scared of doing something that may not work out should not be a reason not to do it. We can all fail sure, but if we do not try then we do not know what might have been possible.

I have discussed before about how scared I was in making our feature film. I could not sleep at night worrying if I had done the right thing by embarking on something this colossal. Now, looking back I have no regrets at all. It was hard yes, but it was also fun and a challenge I am so glad I accepted.  I have learnt so much from this experience and now I am looking at my next challenge, making a documentary. I find filmmaking exciting, rewarding and fulfilling.

So do not put off doing something that makes you happy whether it be big or small. We all must follow our dreams and make the most of every day.

“I'm a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds” – Mike Tyson.

By Kay Rayner