Beat Loneliness – Tips to Find Younger Friends!

It’s a sad fact, as we grow older, we lose (and lose touch with) more friends our own age. It might be because they move away to be closer to support systems such as family or retirement villages, or even care homes. It may be they are simply no longer mobile enough to meet up with us as often as they used to. Saddest of all, is the years take their toll, and some of our friends pass on. If we’re to avoid loneliness, and an ever decreasing friendship group, one of the most important things we can do is to make friends with those who are younger than us.

Some seniors view this as an impossible task, regarding themselves as irrelevant, unattractive, and uninteresting to a younger generation. But this is only a state of mind. There are secrets to forging friendships with those who are younger than us, and to learn some of them – you have only to read on!

Be generous

As seniors, we often have access to resources a younger generation can’t afford, but may be grateful to borrow. Do you have a trailer, a car, a rotary hoe (or even garden hand tools) you would be happy to share with a careful person? Perhaps you have a vegetable garden you no longer need but which a younger person in a flatting situation would be glad of. If you can offer this sort of assistance, always work through recognised agencies who can vouch for the person you’ll be helping (check out groups such as SuperGrans, Men’s Sheds, and budget advisory services), and when meeting up with someone you don’t know well, be sure to take precautions to keep yourself safe.

Offering your skills is an even surer way to make younger friends because it involves direct interaction. If you’re handy with motors, why not call your local budget advisory group to see if a younger person on their books needs a hand with repairing their car, lawn mower, or child’s bicycle? If you’re a sewer, they may know of someone who wants to learn how to make or mend curtains, or alter clothes. If you’ve been in business, contact Business Mentors to offer your skills to those who are just starting out. Once again, always work through trusted, official agencies.

Be available

Retirement offers opportunities to be available when others can’t be. Look around your neighbourhood, church and local school for opportunities to help intergenerational groups and organisations. Does your granchild’s school require helpers to hear children’s reading, or to work in the school library? Do you have neighbours with school aged children who would appreciate a minder for an hour until they get home from work? Do they have a little one you can take to the park, or for a walk in the pram? Check out formal organisations such as Pillars (which organises mentors for children with a parent in prison) Big Buddy or As you help out, you’ll be mixing, mingling and socialising with others of all ages. As you come and go from each other’s home, friendships will develop.

Be an open-minded listener

When the opportunity to mix with younger folk comes along (whether it’s with grandchildren or their partners or friends), try to listen to what they have to say without being judgmental. Often, young people simply want a sounding board. By remaining neutral, you’re not necessarily condoning or agreeing with them, but you are providing them with a safe place to express opinion. They will value you simply for listening, and will visit again, knowing you are there for them.

Be kind

It’s not old fashioned to use your home-making skills to make younger people feel cared for. Whether you’re volunteering at your local library, spending the afternoon with your conservation group, next door to neighbours who are renovating, or down the road from a playcentre working bee, a batch of scones and a flask of hot chocolate is always welcome. Do it more than once, and you’ll have made friends for life. It’s as simple as that because, more than anything, kindness counts.

Stepping out of our comfort zone isn’t always easy, but if we’re to make younger friends, we need to be seen by them, and valued. When it comes down to it, isn’t that how anyone, of any age makes friends?