Seven Steps to Help Build Intimacy

Article by Hazel C. Palache

If you and your partner are on the same page about this, the following steps will help you to build intimacy and open communication making your relationship much stronger. 

1. Talk things out together.

Let your partner know what you are thinking and feeling.  What it is you want out of life and things you would like to do. Remember that your partner can’t read your mind.  They can only give you what you need in the relationship if you communicate.  

2. Be open and honest.

Don’t waste time and effort trying to play mind games with your partner. You can’t expect them to read between the lines and know that when you say, “I’m fine,” it really means you’re fuming inside.   Don’t hold in the feelings until they become resentment.  Sit down with your partner and without anger or raising your voice start a sentence with “I feel ……………………when you do…………………….what I really need from you is………………………………

3. Build trust so it is solid.

Trust is what makes a relationship grow and allows intimacy to come into play. Without trust it can be very challenging to build healthy, loving relationships.

4. Date Time. 

Every couple needs this kind of time, no family, friends or even kids.  In order for a relationship to flourish, it needs you to spend special time with each other.  This helps the relationship to grow and to flow more smoothly and allows you to continue getting to know more about each other.  Have a special day or evening, if possible once a week, if not at least once a month.  

Take a trip together. It has been reported that couples who take regular vacations have a happier marriage/relationship overall than those who hadn’t been on a trip together in the last six years.

5. Be flexible.

You’ll need a little give and take in your relationship. If you want your partner to do something with you that they are really not interested in, be willing to do something with them that you’re not interested in. Give and take is an excellent way to build intimacy in your relationship.

6. Laugh and Play.   

Often times when we’ve been with someone for a very long time, we forget about the little things that are still very important.  We have more responsibilities, children, work and everyday lives, however it’s very important to remember to be playful and laugh in a relationship.   Remember how you used to be when you met, how you used to look forward to seeing each other.  Being together, laughing and just having fun.    Having this in a relationship is important whether you’ve been together 5 months or 15 years.

7. Alone Time.  

Although it’s really important to have ‘together time’ it’s just as important to have alone time.  A healthy, loving relationship is created when each person knows they don’t have to live in the pocket of the other.  That pursuing their own interests, having their own friends and creating their own space is as important as the time they have together.

Building a healthy, open loving relationship really isn’t hard. As long as both partners work on open communication and trust they can build a great relationship that involves a healthy level of closeness, intimacy and compatibility.