Finding mentors

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. – Voltaire, 1694-1778

Some time ago I surveyed readers’ experiences in preparing for ‘retirement’. One of the ‘stand out’ comments was that other people in the workplace did not really see the value of using more experienced staff as mentors. At the same time, many people who leave one career and wish to do something different are looking for advice and mentoring from others in the new chosen field. So this month I thought I would write about finding mentors.

But first I will briefly mention the differences between a mentor and a coach. A mentor is an expert in the specific area in which they are advising someone. A mentor’s job is to guide a person through the nuts and bolts of success in a particular area. In the purest sense, a coach is an expert in asking the right questions so the client comes up with his own solutions, rather than giving advice.

Don’t hesitate to ask others to teach you what you want to know-in any area of life. By replicating their methods and attitudes, you’ll get similar results. Finding and working with a mentor should be fun, easy, and very productive-you do not need to start something new and go by the seat of your pants.

Select mentors who have successful experience in the areas that you don’t. Like choosing a good coach, you’ll want someone who can challenge you and hold you accountable. And you don’t need to restrict yourself to one mentor. If you really think about it, you probably already have several mentors.

Take time to find your mentors

You may have to invest a great deal of time into finding the right people. It will help if you create a profile of your ideal mentors before beginning your search. Consider age, experience, proximity, gender, reputation, availability, and credibility.

Set ground rules with your mentors governing your interactions. Your mentors should clearly understand what you see as your obligations and contributions. By putting this in writing, you’ll have a document you can refer to at your first meeting. Be sure to include how you will cover expenses, as well as when, where, and how to contact your mentor. “I’ll never call you before eight in the morning or after nine at night,” or “I won’t bother you on weekends.”

Honour and respect your mentors in word and deed. Thank, or repay, your mentors in some small way. Sometimes writing a letter describing the impact your mentor is making in your life is a nice way to give a sincere thank you. Always speak highly of your mentor to others, and when something goes right, give the mentor credit.

Don’t argue with your mentors

Your mentors should not have to convince you of the value of their ideas and suggestions. If you argue with their ideas, express your concern or doubt as a question, such as, “I must not be getting something. Why do you think that would work in my situation?”

Provide your mentors with positive feedback

Let mentors know when ideas they proposed work, and how well, and when possible, quantify your result. “As a result of your suggestion, I negotiated a new contract last month.” Don’t report on a mentor’s ideas that didn’t work out so well, unless you are specifically asked to do so.

Provide your mentors with all the truthful information they need to make wise suggestions. You must be honest with mentors because they can’t help you if you are holding back information or only share half- truths with them.

Use your mentors wisely and sparingly

Don’t ask your mentors to solve all your problems. Instead, focus only on those within their area of expertise. Don’t abuse a mentor’s time or goodwill-the more successful a mentor, the more valuable is his or her time, so use it wisely. You may find it helpful to write down key questions you’d like to have answered before meeting your mentor.

Let your mentors know when you are ready to move on. You’ll rely on some mentors for a day, others for a year, and you’ll want some mentors at your side for as long as you live. If you know a mentor’s usefulness to you has come to an end, it’s time to send the person a small gift and a letter, letting them know how much help they’ve given you and giving them heartfelt thanks for their services, advice, and help.

Seek feedback and make corrections

Adjustments and change are necessary for achieving anything at high levels. Why is it that archery targets feature three or more concentric circles around the bull’s- eye? The circles let the archers know how to make the necessary adjustments, so they’ll hit the bull’s-eye more often. So it is, too, with pursuing new goals and passions in your life -check for feedback from time to time. A mentor will be the best source for course correction.

If you have identified your new direction and goals, you can begin your search for mentors today and begin living a more fulfilled life. While books provide knowledge, wise individuals provide practical advice based on life experience.

Be fit for more than the thing you are now doing. Let everyone know that you have a reserve in yourself; that you have more power than you are now using.. – James A. Garfield, 1831-1881

By Ron Trustin

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.

Read more articles from Ron here.
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