Though I haven't yet joined a dating site I am getting nearer to doing so. The question now comes up if I want to add a picture of myself to my profile when I do decide to throw myself to the wolves. No maybe that is a little harsh. Maybe I should look at this quest to find a wonderful partner, as an exciting adventure into the unknown. I will learn many new things about what makes others tick and hopefully find the right man who is in synch with me.
You could say that by not adding a photo I become a mysterious, enticing woman who men can fantasize about. In reality most men will probably think that I am so ugly that I couldn't put my photo with my profile. As one man wrote on one of the dating sites: "Call me shallow or maybe just visually oriented. I go with my gut reaction to a woman's pictures. I'm either attracted or not, and if not, I don't bother reading more. I just move on. If I am attracted then I check for compatibility." But is this something that only men do? I don't think so. I believe that most women are more forgiving and maybe think that the photo of the man was just taken on a bad hair day or when he had had too much to drink etc.
Though some photos look like advertisements for would be ax murders others look amazing. I do need to remind myself that most people on dating sites are just normal, regular people who are maybe a bit lonely and want to meet someone who is nice. It is a bit weird though that some photos are taken by the person holding the camera at arms length. Some are so poorly lit that it is difficult to make out the person in the frame. It also doesn't help to have a photo of oneself in a crowd where I maybe will have to play spot the single, eligible man here. I suppose before posting a photo one should ask oneself what the photo actually says about one?
Do people put out of date pictures on the websites? I believe this is done by women and by men. Women want to show themselves looking a few years younger (especially if they have lied about how old they really are.) Men may not want to a woman to see how bald they really are. Of course they could put a photo up with them wearing a cap or a hat. I want to match the photo to the person when I eventually meet them in a restaurant or coffee shop. I don't want to play a guessing game.
So the decision has been taken by me to put a current picture with my profile. I decide to look at what pictures others have used to get an idea what I think works and what doesn't. This is an eye opener. Some pictures show the person with their pet. This probably is to indicate that you don't just get me but Pluto or Sweetie Pie as well. I don't at the moment own a pet so I cannot add one to my photo.
Some people have a photo with their arms round their daughter. Well I suppose it is their daughter and not an ex girlfriend. In some photos one can make out a stray arm coming out of the person's neck. No they don't have an extra arm but they have managed to cut off a photo of someone standing next to them. In the photo section some prospects add photos of holidays they have been on and sites they have seen. Maybe the message here is that if you play your cards right then YOU can accompany me to these places in the future.
It could also be done so that one has an opener to get back to the person and say:" Oh! You have visited the golden Buddha. Was it a great trip? It would be great if I had one of me bungee jumping but firstly me upside down might not work and secondly I get motion sickness even thinking about doing something like that. I even saw some pictures of men taken from their high school days or even earlier. Did they want me to see how cute they once were though they are no longer so?
I need to label my profile and photo. This will take some thought. Accompanying some of the photos are such profile names as Hunk 123, Handsome guy, Lover boy and Dream man. Wow! Some men have huge egos. I wouldn't describe them as any of those names on first look. I can decide for myself if someone is hot or appeals to me. Personally I like a photo of a man who is dressed nicely. He doesn't have to be wearing a tie or be in a tuxedo but please not wearing a bathing suit or just bare-chested or really scruffy.
Light is very important in a photo but if there is too bright a light on one then all one's blemishes show up. Also I have been told that if you have a photo of yourself with your chin slightly raised that you look younger. Obviously I mustn't hold my head too high up as I will look as though there is a bad smell under my nose or I am a snob.
I try to remember that if a picture is worth a thousand words my online dating photo or maybe photos could give me an opportunity to tell more about me. I want to come across as open, honest and prepared to have fun. But I don't want to have a "come hither look" or be too sexy. This is a very difficult decision. I have been told that an up close face picture and one full body one is what is needed. Forget the photo telling a story. Let me just pick one that makes the guys think of the nice girl next door and let us go from there.
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